Today was such an awesome day. I loved it when a day exceeds my expectations! Having put the majority of the elbow grease for our meals into yesterday, all that was required of me to finish brunch this morning was to sprinkle some brown sugar and blueberries on the French toast and pop it into the oven. Then I just had to convince Super Dad to fry the eggs and I popped open the mimosa ingredients and – voila! I was truly THANKFUL!

Earlier in the morning, Super Dad jumped out of bed to head off to his run. I had planned to tag along, but it was pouring down rain. Again, since here in the South we are dreadfully short on rain, even though the shower threatened to ruin Super Dad’s... more

As promised, here are our very non-traditional Thanksgiving plans: Super Dad will awake early to run a 10K whose proceeds benefit a local food pantry, cleverly named “Gobble Jog”. After that we will dine on the non-traditional Thanksgiving brunch of French toast casserole, eggs, sausage and mimosas (yummy). The older children will arrive between their huge meals elsewhere for an afternoon of the one Thanksgiving tradition we plan to observe – playing Cranium. Supper around here will likely be homemade soup, as Kay, sans wisdom teeth, will be most comfortable... more

One of the hardest part of the holidays, and visits with extended family or friends you see infrequently, is that you’re likely to be subjected to someone’s “expert” opinion about how you should raise your special child. These (always unsolicited) offers of advice are especially hard to handle when they are:

a. offered by a family member b. offered with a tone of criticism…or sometimes directly as an attack of what you should or shouldn’t have done. c. Offered by someone who is childless d. Offered by someone whose children have no disabilities... more

Many of you may be nodding your heads in agreement with keeping the holidays simple, flexible, inexpensive…and you’re ready and willing to do this. But it isn’t long until someone in your family protests. Usually it’s an extended family member – your mother, sister, uncle, grandfather – someone who doesn’t understand why holidays can’t be like they were “before”.

This is where your plans for flexibility and simple traditions start to derail. It’s also where the extended family member (whether they intend to or not) lay on the heavy guilt trip. ATN’s... more

Nancy Deren, one of my dear readers, posted about her way of flexibly dealing with holidays and the extra stress they can bring. I think what she says clearly embodies what I’ve been trying to communicate. It is very important that we expand our thinking when it comes to celebrating holidays, and that we do what works for our families and ourselves at any given point. Here’s what Nancy had to say:

One of the changes we've made is developing various traditions that take place at home and can happen on any day in case the child is in the hospital... more

Just like parenting special kids requires you to stay delicately balanced between structure and nurture, surviving the holidays with special kids requires you to be balanced between flexibility and tradition.

There are scores of books and articles out there on the importance of building traditions into your family’s celebrations. Super Dad and I reminisce often on our own families’ holiday traditions and our children always listen with rapt attention. I brag continuously on how awesome Halloween was in a small town that allowed us the safety and freedom to... more

I’ll admit that the art of flexibility was a hard one for me to learn as a young mother. I wanted perfect Martha Stewart holidays. But when I divorced and remarried, I threw that dream out the window. There is no way to have “perfect” holidays like you see in movies with all the comings and goings of extended blended family. I remember how painful the realization that our holidays were always going to be wrought with scheduling dilemmas was at the beginning...until I learned to let go and revise my own expectations of holidays.

When Kay was little, she’d alternate... more

My calendar keeps telling me that the holidays are right around the corner. My brain, however, can not seem to engage with the energy to plan for the upcoming events. What’s up with that?

I have to dig out scrapbooks and documents from years ago to remember the Type A Super Mommy I used to be. I was the one who did most of my Christmas shopping in August, had the entire Thanksgiving meal planned out by September, and was in full decoration mode by early November.

So, here it is November 13 and I can’t even wrap my head around what we’re doing for Thanksgiving,... more

In the wee hours of this morning, I found a spare moment. As I sipped my coffee, I browsed the many catalogs and magazines that had arrived at our house this week, full of holiday ideas and ways to make your holidays brighter, more festive, special, stress-free and definitely better than ever.

Pardon me for being a special mom of special kids, but I feel very disconnected from this whole holiday rush and fuss business this year. Yes, I know that the holidays are out there and rapidly approaching, but unlike the total Type A personality I used to be (who already had... more

If you are considering adopting a teenager from the foster care system then you are probably aware that many have been in trouble with the law. Time in the state juvenile facility may be in their history or in their future. In 14 of the states located here in the U.S.A, adult state prison may also be in your teenager’s future. While it isn’t always possible to influence a teenager to change directions, what chance will the adoptive parent have if the teenager is in prison?

One of our teenagers came to us well trained in the art of shoplifting by her first mother. While... more