I caught wind of a disturbing discussion yesterday, one in which some prospective adoptive families are seeking to adopt internationally are looking toward adopting children through disruptions as a “cheaper, easier and faster” route to adoption. I did a complete double take, but yes, I had read correctly, the consensus of this group was that a simpler route to adopting a child was to find a family who had brought home a child and “changed their minds”.

I’m dumbfounded at this logic. I know several people who have adopted children through disruptions. In fact, many bloggers on this... more

Well it has been almost three years since our foster daughter was first placed in our home. Her parent’s rights were terminated over a year ago. Last Thursday we finally got to sign the subsidy agreements and officially put her new name on paper so we can adopt her. That is the good news. The bad news is that now the paperwork has to go to the state MCI for approval and that could take six months or more according to our adoption worker.

Our daughter has been displaying many negative behaviors over the past year. We switched therapist, schools, and began medication... more

I’ve been sharing some of the challenges involved with our rebellious 19 year old daughter. She left home quite angry the month she turned 18, so it has now been a year. In our daughter’s mind, we had become the bad guys. Because she moved out and was the youngest of the sibling group that we adopted, there hasn’t been an opportunity for us to see their birth family.

However, on Sunday, there was an opportunity for me to discuss “R’s” choices with her paternal grandparents. Our granddaughter turned two and her mother, who is... more

A commenter posted on my school blog from yesterday how different she and her Chinese daughter were treated at school than she and her Russian daughters had been. She hypothesized that it was because school personnel could “see” them as an adoptive family.

I agree. In some ways having LuLu look so much different than me has been a blessing in that it sends out an immediate visual signal that “something is different” about this family. I truly do believe that... more

My blog-mate, Julie, did a great post last week about parenting her special needs adopted child. In the post, Either You’re a Saint or You Asked for This, Julie talked about people thinking that she, and other adoptive parents of special needs children, are saints for parenting their special needs child. For those of us with special needs adopted children, it comes down to, what choice do we have, other than to parent our child to the best of our ability?

I actually had... more

Kelly posted on the Saint Syndrome recently. Don’t we all cringe at “You are such a saint” or any variation of that theme! I think I’ve heard them all. “She’s so lucky,” “You’re doing such a great thing,” even “I don’t know HOW you do it” bugs me. Because, let’s face it, what’s the alternative at this point – either to raise LuLu or to not raise her? What does not “doing it” look like?

The rest of the world doesn’t know how to respond to those of us parenting... more

She suffered previous child abuse and neglect before entering the foster care system at the age of seven. Part of the child abuse and neglect suffered by our adopted daughter included a filthy home, no clean laundry, no heat, no water, truancy, and a lack of dental hygiene. However, now our adopted daughter has been in our home for nearly three years and gotten used to these things.

A person not experienced with traumatized children would think that a child would want to keep clean given the chance. Honestly, that... more

We are all hopeful that our children will grow into independent, self-supporting adults with satisfying careers. Can this still be our hope if our child is learning disabled? Will it be possible for our learning disabled child to actually get hired? If they are hired, can they keep a job once their employer realizes they are disabled? Should our children tell potential employers that they are disabled?

Many children with LD have difficulty with time management and with social nuances. Help your child prepare for a job interview by practicing questions and answers ahead... more

Have you thought about creating family traditions with your adopted child? Think about your family’s tradition when you were growing up. Which ones did you like, which ones did you dislike? Is there something special that you always wished your family would do together, but didn’t? Remember when you are creating family traditions that they don’t have to be big, or expensive, just special.

One of my friends had always taken her children to Christmas town; it’s called Frankenmuth, to each choose a new ornament every year to place on the tree. When her children... more

Did you ever dream about your child walking in your shoes, maybe even going to the same college you attended? Have you given up your dreams of a college education because your child was diagnosed as learning disabled? While your learning disabled child may not earn a doctorate, a college education may still be an option.

Anne Ford, in her new book, “On Their Own” explores the higher educational possibilities for your learning disabled child. While your child may not be capable of earning the degree, you once dreamed about,... more