I asked my teenage daughter to help me clean for my son’s open house last weekend. She seemed excited to help and went right to work, sweeping off the steps and the sidewalk. An hour later, when I checked on her, she was still sweeping the four steps and the 15 feet of sidewalk. That’s when I realized that she wasn’t just using a broom; she was also using a toothbrush.

She was meticulously removing every speck of dirt and each loose stone. The problem being that the cement has been here for at least as long as we have lived here, 15 years. Therefore, quite a bit of it was loose so she was creating pits, valleys, and holes everywhere. I told her that I appreciated her efforts,... more

My arrival home this afternoon was somewhat of a surprise to my teenage daughter. Though I’m not sure why, after all, I live here, and I have returned home each time I’ve left. However, when I entered the kitchen it was vacant; apparently, nobody heard me come in.

I began to look into the other rooms, trying to locate my children who were supposed to be doing their schoolwork. Nevertheless, when the cats away, the mice will play, you know. When I glanced into the playroom, which is also our schoolroom, I saw my teenage daughter at my... more

My teenage daughter loves to “help” me, and sometimes, like today when she helped me clean the house, she is a real blessing. If I give her a task to complete, she won’t stop until she is finished and sometimes even goes beyond my expectations. However, when I am not at home she likes to pretend to be me, and she does what she thinks I would do and orders the other children to help her. When I return home and ask questions, her initial reaction is to lie because she realizes that her plan didn’t turn out the way she thought it would. Then, she gets in trouble for lying.

Sometimes, her lies are almost comical because they are so implausible and because she thinks, her parents will... more

One of my readers commented on one of my blogs that my teenage daughter with FAS might be having trouble with self- regulating. She felt it would explain why my daughter is only able to control herself while I am at home. When I leave, even for brief periods, she inevitably gives the person in charge a difficult time; she sneaks, lies, abuses her assumed authority, and destroys property; for several years, my own mother wouldn’t baby-sit for her. The suggestion that she couldn’t behave because she is unable to regulate herself intrigued... more

Do you ever feel like “Sherlock Holmes” trying to discover what your special needs child is trying to say? Then, almost like Superman changing in the telephone booth, you are able to change into “Super Translator Mom,” so you can tell others what your child just said. With most special needs children, some days are better than other days, we need to be thankful for the good days, yet not expect them. I try to remind myself frequently, lest I set my 13-year-old daughter up for failure, by expecting too much.

She waltzed into the kitchen earlier today, just coming in from outside. I asked her where Allie was, because they had been outside together. She looked me right in the eyes,... more

I left the house for about 90 minutes today while I took the four year old to a “play therapy” session. I returned home just in time to be able to get my daughter to her piano lesson on time. I popped into the house and asked if she was ready for her piano lesson. She was not, apparently she had forgotten. She grabbed her lesson books and she was putting her shoes on, so I ran outside and jumped into the van and then, I waited. About 10 minutes later, she came out and stared at the van for a minute. Then, she actually walked up to the van, opened the door, and asked if I was waiting for her. I know, I should have just said, “Yes.” Instead, I asked, “Don’t you have a piano lesson in 10 minutes?”... more

My thirteen year old daughter decided to get even with me yesterday for reprimanding her for lying. She was caught and once she realized that it didn’t take long for the confession. In the past it has taken days or hours to get confessions, so I’m very happy we’ve crossed that hurdle. I reminded her for the hundredth time that lying causes me to not trust her; therefore she won’t be allowed to go places unless I’m able to accompany her.

Apparently she was getting even with me for not letting her go to AWANA after she had lied to me... more

I know that when we’re living with an FAS or FAE child the good days are few and far between and we’re suppose to cherish them but not expect them, it’s just so hard. When my teenage daughter has her good days, she’s a joy to be with and such a help to me around the house. Then mentally I get caught up seeing her future as a normal woman. It’s what I would so desperately want for her, if only I could fix her.

Logically I know that it is completely unreasonable and way out of her ability level. By expecting her to achieve it... more

The children have been called and supper is on the table. Dad asked if anyone prayed and then there are a couple of volunteers. While sitting around the table some are chatting, someone’s getting ketchup, someone else is getting milk, some just dig right in and start eating. That’s when we notice that there are only eight children at the table, one is missing.

We didn’t give our daughter with FAS her individual, special invitation to join us at dinner which she requires at every meal. Usually I make hints; like... more

In some ways I feel sorrier for the children that only have FAE (Fetal Alcohol Effect) as opposed to those that have FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.) Why would I say something so strange? Think about it for a minute, if your child has FAS, anybody can look at your child and tell that something isn’t quite right. If a child looks somewhat abnormal, people tend to lower their expectation for that child. That in turn can make life somewhat easier for the affected child and the parents of the child.

However, a child who has FAE tends to look completely... more