A recent (and frequent) topic on many of the listserves I read is the overwhelming strain parenting a disabled child has on your marriage. This week’s twist was the working partner not “getting it” about a typical day at home with a challenging child. “So, what have you been doing all day?” is such a loaded question.

The discussion turned to whether or not this was a gender-based response. Was this to be expected from a man? One poster reported that it was the working wife who had implied that perhaps not enough had been accomplished... more

We're at it again...us moms who apparently have nothing else to do with our days but to tackle planning another national conference. The staff of the Attachment Disorder Network (ADN) officially announces that the 2007 Parenting Traumatized Children conference will be held at the historic Elms Resort in Excelsior Springs, MO, August 2-4, 2007. (outside of Kansas City, MO)

Why am I telling you this?

First so you can check out the truly awesome location of this historic mineral springs spa and mark your calendar to join us.

And second, because perhaps you or a therapist or adoption/attachment professional... more

For those of you living in Canada and seeking more interventions for sensory integration dysfunction, ADHD, or learning disabilities, check out the Wise Choice Educational Services. This practice appears to house many state-of-the-art interventions in one place, with a staff that sounds knowledgeable not only in how to administer these interventions, but what it’s like to parent and teach a child with these disabilities.

The way they state it is that they “look for the root cause of neurocognitive inefficiencies.” David and Suzanne Day, educators with training... more

Check out these two awesome moms, Amy Baskin and Heather Fawcett, Canadian moms of special needs children (one autistic and one with Aspergers). Recognizing the unique pressures of raising children with special needs on their marriages, careers, finances, other families members and friendships, these two decided to write about the experience.

The result is a book called More than A Mom, a handbook of sorts full of practical parenting advice and sensitive to the joys and stresses that come... more

In subtle, or not so subtle ways, parents of children with disabilities are “blamed” for their children’s disabilities. Sometimes the person sending this message truly doesn’t realize the message they are sending, but other times it’s crystal clear that they intend to lay blame.

Here’s an example where the person didn’t mean to lay blame; it was one of those subtle things, which I try to let roll of my back. I was talking with a mother the other day whose child is also disabled. But she and my child were playing together and reading... more

The responders to my Two Camps blogs gave me food for thought. Angela quickly pointed out a third camp “The Parent is the Problem.” Actually I just think this is a regiment of the first camp – the Child is the Problem, because if the child’s disability is recognized for the disability it is, then no one, parent or child, is assigned blame. But if we decide the problem is the child, it isn’t a long trip in our thoughts to start blaming the parent…even... more

I don’t know about any of the rest of you, but I often think in song. I apply songs I know to my life situations. I don’t know how common that is for others to do, so maybe I’m the only one. But songs encourage me, comfort me, inspire me, relax me and diffuse a stressful situation. And sometimes they just run through my head like a soundtrack.

Today was the day I had to go “fight a dragon”. That’s what LuLu calls doing battle with the school. Despite being done with our own court case, I felt the overwhelming need to help the mom from the ... more

Gotta have that balance! Gotta have that structure! While nurturing is ever so important, every child has to learn to live within society and be a productive member. Parenting is really a two-fold effort. Our jobs, if we do them right, are about nurturing the person within our child AND teaching them how to be successful in this world…successful at learning, successful at supporting themselves, but most importantly, how to be successful at relationships. And we can’t do that without eventually imposing some kind of structure on the kid.

Just... more

I used to think I was flexible. In the corporate world, I got high marks on being flexible, calm in a crisis, able to jump in and help find a solution. Then I stepped into the major leagues of flexibility…parenting a special needs child.

My talent of being flexible and cool during a crisis has been put to the test countless times in the last eight years. And while for the most part, in retrospect, I’ve passed the test (or at least endured it). There has been a price. And that’s a loss of equilibrium.

I vaguely remember the ability... more

Part 1

Spending time with your grandkids can help build a relationship that gives parents the confidence to leave a child who needs special attention in your care. It can be hard to find spectrum-savvy baby sitters, so perhaps you can enable stressed-out parents to go out for some much-needed, worry-free recreation. Sometimes, parents just need someone to listen. Lending your ear may help them put things in perspective.... more