A debate rages on an adoption listserv I read(ok, it's a polite discussion, but there are opposing viewpoints) about whether public schools serve children with special needs better or worse than they serve gifted children.

I haven't chimed in yet, but if/when I do, I am going to have to say that I have experience with both ends of this situation and that the public schools are playing everyone to the middle. It is about teaching to the average (or in some cases less-than-average), because it's all about getting as many children to pass as possible.

I don't mean to sound cynical,... more

(I am obviously NOT doing well --- as I just wrote this blog once, complete with placed image and everything, and somehow didn't manage to save or publish it -- ARGH!!!!!!!)

The words hit me like a slap in the face. I was at a local support group meeting this weekend and after a lengthy discussion of all the many facets of my life -- our due process hearing, the new hyperbaric therapy, how the ADN conference was coming together, an old friend looked me squarely in the eye and asked, "So how are YOU doing?" I quickly deflected the question because it bothered me so much. But... more

One of the most exciting parts of the upcoming ADN conference for me is the chance to meet many cyberspace friends I have never laid eyes on before. The world of adoption and the special needs of internationally adopted children has brought me squarely into cyberspace. In fact, I probably know many more people by their screen names than I know people by their faces.

It was 1996 (a whole decade ago) - the summer that the Olympics were here in Atlanta, that we began pursuing international adoption. The final spark that ignited the pursuit for me (I had always been drawn... more

If you've ever flown on an airplane, you've heard it. During the safety briefing the attendant will describe what happens if there is a sudden loss of pressure and the oxygen masks fall from the ceiling. "For those of you accompanying young children," the attendant instructs, "put your mask on first and then help your child."

Ever wonder why they say that? There may be a physical medical reason. But just as likely is that you need to be able to continue breathing, unobstructed and remain calm so you are able to care for your young child in the face of an emergency.

The... more

Late Friday afternoon LuLu had another hyperbaric treatment. As we were leaving there were several moms and kids congregated at the counter, so we started chatting. In walked a mom and son (older than LuLu by a couple of years) carrying his reading and entertainment for his hour in the chamber. On top of his pile was a brightly colored turtle-shaped CD holder. When he laid it down, LuLu raced for it, grabbing it and exclaiming, "What is this?"

The boy (Dylan), quickly retrieved his possession, but then leaned over to me and in a loud whisper said, "Is she autistic?"

"Sort... more

I went looking for more information on the negative impact of shame on our children. Quite frankly, there's not a lot of concrete information out there in cyberspace. But the prevailing opinion of those who study and write about shame includes these tenets:

1. Shame is a negative emotion and can easily become chronic - i.e. not related to the "fault" of the person feeling ashamed. There is a lot of discussion of shame in conjunction with victims of abuse, especially sexual abuse and the way that shame alters their lives. 2. Many professionals link long-term shame with depression, anxiety, OCD, personality disorders, addictions, and eating disorders. 3. Shame is... more

My sister-in-law (who I adore and SO want to be when I "grow up") was relating a story this weekend about her life that I had never heard. She told about being very pregnant with her second child one Christmas and her husband, a navy officer, had been recently transferred. So, they packed up their toddler and household and headed to Hawaii. Somehow in the banking details, my SIL closed the bank account before all the outstanding checks cleared. When she arrived in Hawaii and her husband was immediately sent to sea, she was left to settle into their new surroundings (in... more

I caught the end of the a story on Morning Edition on NPR this weekend as I was traveling with my family. Through StoryCorps, Joshua, a 12-year-old who has Aspergers Syndrome, interviewed his mother. If you need a heart-warming "fix" from one special mom of a special kid, try this out! -- listen in.

Joshua had a interesting list of questions, many not surprising from a child with Aspergers. Some questions like "Do you have any mortal enemies?" and his observation that he was responsible... more

I think one of the biggest challenges as the parent of a special needs child is the ease with which one can neglect yourself. I mean, who has time to pursue their own wants and desires when you're so deeply engaged in your child's sometimes endless needs.

In fact, I'm not sure if there are statistics out there, but I'll bet that parents of challenging children are less likely to go to the doctor or dentist or even to buy themselves new clothes, shoes or personal items than the rest of the population.

I know, because it happened to me yesterday. I went to the doctor. I have had a cold, a cough, and an ear that is clogged for over two weeks now. While I ran a fever at first,... more

Angela suggested in response to my last blog, that I consider reading Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control -the new book by Heather Forbes and Dr. Bryan Post. So, I logged back on to their website with the intent of ordering the book. But two things stopped me from hitting the "buy now" button.

1. I really hate the way, with increasing frequency, each attachment therapist tries to distance themselves from the others. They are quick to call all other approaches "controversial" but their own. I find this trend incredibly troubling... more