When reading or hearing information I tend to think about how the information is relevant for my family. Usually it ends up having adoption or special needs significance for me since that has been my life for the past 14 years. When I saw an article entitled “Complicated Grief” from the Mayo Clinic I automatically assumed it had to do with the loss and grief that foster children suffer when separated from their birth families. Instead, the article was about the grief associated with the death... more

One of the commenters on my recent Wounded blog asked:

But can you heal while still in the trenches? With really no end in sight?

A great question to which my only answer is another question: Do we have any other choice? I don’t think so. We’re backed into a corner, and so are our kids. Children with special needs/disabilities didn’t choose this and neither did we. Our only real choice is to persevere or to throw in the towel.... more

Last year I had a sebaceous cyst removed from my leg. This cyst had been with me since I was five years old. But it was growing (about the size of a golf ball) and pressing on my leg muscles just above my knee, causing discomfort. The doctor said it was too big to remove in his office, so we had to go the general anesthesia/outpatient clinic route.

He was also concerned about whether or not it would leave a scar. Because of the size and depth, he did indeed have to make the larger incision. And it has left a very obvious scar (not to mention a dent in my leg where the muscles... more

I appreciate all the hugs and prayers that commenters posted yesterday to my Wounded blog entries. My intent, though, is not to sound full of self-pity. My situation here is no worse than it usually is. In fact, it may be improving, hence the opportunity for reflection.

This is the way I’ve always handled life…so immersed in something that I couldn’t debrief or recognize my own needs until I was done. When I was teenager, I detassled corn. As Midwest farm teens know, this job is financially more lucrative than other summer jobs. But it is not easy work. (Maybe it is now…maybe... more

Still thinking about wounded moms of special kids…and the fact that we’re often the “walking wounded”. Check out this definition of walking wounded:

Walking wounded is a term used in first aid and triage to indicate injured persons who are of a relatively low priority. These patients are conscious and breathing and usually have only (relatively) minor injuries; thus they are capable of walking. Depending on the resources available, and the abilities of the injured persons these people may sometimes... more

It’s not often that I get moments to reflect; my life seems like a never-ending whirlwind. But as I was walking in our lovely fall weather yesterday, I was struck with how beat up I feel. Reflecting on my life, especially the last year or two, I realize that much of it has been spent in survival mode, where I arise each morning and prioritize which dragon to fight today.

And I know I’m not alone. There are countless moms (dads too, but I don’t have that perspective) who awake every morning to the same slate of crises – the physical, emotional and financial challenges... more

If you’re parenting a child who receives (or should receive) special education services you have to know about the Parent Training and Information Center (PTI) and/or the Community Parent Resource Center (CPRC) in your state. Some states have more than one. The centers’ mission is to:

provide training and information to parents of infants, toddlers, children, and youth with disabilities and to professionals who work with children. This assistance helps parents to participate more effectively with professionals in meeting the educational... more

Here it is over a week later, and I’m still processing what I learned from Kathie Snow of Disability is Natural, a speaker at our Partners in Policymaking class. One thing that I learned is that Advocate Moms (and Dads) everywhere must learn to use humor to stay sane.

Around here, an active sense of humor is mandatory. It is the glue that holds our family together. There is rarely a crisis that is weathered at our household during which some kind of humor is not raised. For example, after our atrocious day yesterday, I emailed... more

I felt pretty hopeless yesterday, reading about all the families of children with disabilities around me being cheated out of educations a their public schools…or worse, being punished for seeking an education for their children (or the children being abused and traumatized themselves).

The sadness that sets in when I hear these stories is overwhelming.

But today I found inspiration in a speech given by Bill Gates to the graduating class at Harvard last June. (Many thanks to Kelly for posting about Mariska... more

I asked Google to search for Foster Adoptive Family Resource Center. There were 1,900,000 results. I realized that many states have centers that specifically offer services to foster and adoptive families. Have you considered getting involved with your local center? If you don’t have a local center, have you considered starting one?

We have a center called The Foster Adoptive Family Resource & Support Center and it serves several counties in Michigan. I have watched the Resource Center grow and expand its services over... more