I’m not referring to adult adoptees locating their birth families whom they may have never known. Instead, I’m referring to children adopted through the foster care system, who already knew their birth parents before being adopted. These children lived with their birth parents for a period of time and probably visited with their birth parents, at least once a week for a year or more, after entering the foster care system.

Somewhere in the back of their minds, an idea may exist that a mistake was made in terminating their parent’s... more

“What’s for dinner?” Around my house those are the words that often send me off the deep end. I can’t explain it, really…or I couldn’t until today. Returning from morning carpool, I heard Elisa Morgan, CEO of MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) an international Christian moms support group. The topic was Mother’s Day and what moms wanted. The DJ asked Ms. Morgan about a situation that occurs at his house when he asks his wife whether... more

I came across an article called 101 Inexpensive Ways to Say, “I love you,” to increase the romance in your life. I knew immediately that I needed to read the list, not for help with romance, but to find helpful tips for showing and creating affection for older-child, and special-needs adopted children. My blog-mate Julie did an article a couple of months ago where she created a list of all the things she liked about her special needs daughter. Then she made a list of all the things she didn’t like and it was the longer of the two. I was able... more

I continue to struggle with this question: Is sending my naughty children off to a week of summer camp cheap respite care or a reward for naughty behavior? My teen daughter has missed two summers of camp so far, because of her behavior. I have told her repeatedly that if she can’t be trusted, then I can’t send her off to camp. I know she loves camp so I thought the threat would work, but it hasn’t. She continues to sneak and steal when I’m not home, usually within minutes after I leave the house. That tends to give me the feeling that her actions are premeditated.... more

I’m realizing the longer that I parent LuLu just how truly valuable (aka NECESSARY) the Internet is both for parenting special kids and for the special kids themselves. This article at Schwab Learning, Research Trends: LD from the Inside — Children’s Voices on the Internet highlights this value. This article summarizes research done at Schwab Learning using their website, SparkTop.org as a communication and support tool for children with Learning Disabilities.

Dr.... more

This morning I took one of my teens to the dentist. While waiting, I had the opportunity to talk to a foster mom that I mentored several years ago, in a program for new foster parents. It was an encounter that must have been ordained. Both of us desperately needed to hear what the other had to say and we couldn’t have waited much longer.

Ironically, she and I are going through nearly identical adoption experiences this year. We both have nine-year-old daughters that have lived in our homes for more than two years. Both daughters have had... more

I found myself in “the” situation again. I never anticipate it; never expect it; am always caught off-guard. “The” situation is being faced with a “successful” international adoption of a seemingly healthy child– you know – the dream I used to have that didn’t come to fruition.

Kay had volunteered to play her cello in a quartet at her friend’s viola recital (so the friend wouldn’t have to play a solo). So I found myself sitting in our church sanctuary and watching a couple dozen violin and viola students perform. I know a great deal about... more

May is our anniversary month of losing Lillie so she’s on my mind more than usual. She came to our family as a chubby two month old and stayed with us for 18 months. She has been gone for three years now. It still hurts when I think about her or look at her pictures, but at least I can look at the pictures now without falling apart. I’m not in constant tears anymore, as I was that first summer. Actually, I don’t remember most of that first summer. I know I painted everything inside and outside of our house, from the bathroom... more

I have to admit that I really enjoy spending time with the birth families of my adoptive and foster children. The first reason, and probably the most important, is because it helps me to understand my child – also their child - better. I utilize the time together to ask valuable questions about medical history, about their personal milestones for maturing, about lifestyle, and about beliefs.

I don’t come at them with a list of questions, a pen and a clipboard, because that might be offensive. I do however, during the course of amiable conversation, periodically ask questions... more

It was sunny and about 70 degrees here in Michigan today, which was a welcomed change from the intermittent spring snow and rain we’ve been having. What could possibly make such a day even more glorious? Our Foster Adoptive Family Resource and Support Center offered a free respite Saturday from 9AM until 4PM, for children between newborn and 12 years old who were part of an adoptive family or part of a foster family. The Center had games, activities, and meals planned for the children and they had a great time. All parents had to do, to take advantage of the free day of care, was... more