Have you adopted a child with passive aggressive behaviors? It can be difficult not to get angry when the child breaks your things several times a week. Perhaps your child is one who seems to enjoy making special messes that you find in the morning. Have you ever noticed that your child’s passive aggressiveness seems to get worse, or episodes more frequent, after one of your angry outburst? Unfortunately, your righteous anger seems to feed their behaviors. Therefore, the secret to reducing or eliminating your adopted child’s passive aggressiveness is to minimize your reactions.... more

I’ve been missing-in-action for a few weeks. And today I’m blogging just to say my farewells. After 27 months of being an Adoptionblogs blogger, I’m hanging up my keyboard. It’s been a marvelous experience. After more than two years of daily blogging about parenting children with special needs, I’ve covered many of the topics we all face daily. We’ve talked about a lot of things, from specific disabilities and interventions to the commonality in the struggles all children with disabilities face to the need for strong advocacy for our children in schools, the medical... more

These were LuLu’s first words Sunday morning as she bound out of bed on the long-awaited day. LuLu had set and reached a personal goal: to sing with the children’s choir on Palm Sunday. LuLu, who for years has not participated in children’s choir because the children make “unexpected noise” that overwhelms her senses and her behaviors have always alienated her from interacting with the other children, watched with great envy as the choir sang at Christmas.

“I wish I could do that,” she sighed. I told her I thought she was able, if she wanted. But that she... more

Every time I come back from my Partners in Policymaking class, I have more to share about disability issues and some of the cutting-edge ideas in the needs and care of our largest minority: people with disabilities.

This month our topics were housing and employment. Quite frankly, since LuLu is only 11, I haven’t given that much thought to either of these topics. I can’t see a clear course for her future, so in some ways, I avoid looking ahead. But there are a few things I do know. One, she’ll need to live somewhere and that somewhere will eventually not be... more

I realize as the weekend creeps in, that this time last Friday I was feeling the same level of exhausting, frustration and gratitude that it’s the weekend. It’s been an incredible week.

1. Last Friday, our attorney emailed me a mound of paperwork from the school district of things they want me to respond to over the next few days, making more work for an already pretty busy mom. I’m highly frustrated that I have to take the time to respond. 2. On Monday, I discovered that Kay, despite doing an excellent job last semester of self-policing and keeping... more

National Public Radio (NPR) did two segments on the importance of play recently. And I think they bear watching. In Old Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills, it is pointed out that back before the mid-1950s play was not so much associated with toys as it was with unstructured free time. But the advent of television advertising and marketing to children has changed that.

Combine that with the push by parents to have children involved in organized activities and the lack of recess during... more

I’m tickled at LuLu’s brightening and new-found independence. She’s excited about operating the microwave, learning how to heat water to prepare her lunch and answer the phone. But with each new independent step, I’m reminded that I need to watch her carefully, to make sure she understands exactly what she’s doing. For example: To avoid things like foil in the microwave, or the wrong burner being heated up.

And Marie’s blog about EMDR reminded me of the one incredibly successful... more

There’s been a thread of happiness floating through the air around here. Despite times everyday when LuLu exhibits frustration, there are times when she’s just happier, and “brighter”. Three weeks ago we went back into the hyperbaric oxygen chamber on advice of one of her doctors to see if we could get some relief from the GI distress she has been in.

The folks at the hyperbaric center we use are angels. They were able to work us into the schedule immediately, and in such a way to minimize the number of trips (1-hour, one-way) we had to make by scheduling two... more

LuLu emerged from her bedroom this morning with lips coated in a rustic brown color. She has large, full lips and did look a great deal like a Brats doll.

“I look sexy!” she declared.

Rather than panic or even hint at disapproval, I’ve learned to respond to things like this with a simple question, “What does that mean?” If I react with shock to anything, it immediately cements that thing into LuLu’s brain, hardwiring it to be brought up over and over (usually at the most inappropriate times). So fear of LuLu proclaiming herself “sexy” at church, the grocery... more

Did I mention that I hate school buses? For reasons I’m sure Freud would be able to explain, I have channeled all my anger, resentment and unresolved negativity about our due process court case with the school district onto school buses. The sight of them makes me cringe.

Today, after the debacle of an endocrinologist appointment, we returned to our neighborhood just in time to…you guessed it…get behind the school bus! Now ours is a large neighborhood, and we live in a cul-de-sac at the very back of it. The school bus makes no less than six stops along... more