All this talk about what to call the various moms in our children’s lives reminded me of how many crazy ways I’ve been asked about how LuLu got into our family.

Because she’s Chinese, it is very apparent that she does not look like us. We have been stared at, talked down to, asked all kinds of inappropriate and nosey questions.

“Is she yours?” is the most common one.

“Where’s she from?” is another subtle way of asking us if she’s adopted.

But when someone asks about how much she cost, it still gets me.

I... more

Every special needs parent knows what I’m talking about when I say “the child underneath”. Those of us who are blessed see glimpses of that child. The one our child might have been if...

And perhaps the one our child can become with the right combination of therapies, interventions and parenting.

It’s so easy to see the disability and totally miss the child. But what happens when you see those glimmers. I am inevitably caught off-guard by the “real” LuLu. She shows up at the most unexpected times and the most unexpected... more

“Why didn’t Kay go to work today?” Super Dad asked. “She did go to work,” I replied. “But LuLu tells me Kay took her to her swim lesson.” “She did.” “I thought her swim lesson was a noon.”

My mild giggle turned into a belly-rolling guffaw as we continued to talk about how many twists and turns had taken place in our “normal” schedule for a Thursday. Today was abnormal even for my family (where normal is definitely only a setting on the washing machine!)

Today was all about juggling life. There are days... more

For the second Monday in a row (what is it about Mondays!), LuLu has decided to consume large quantities of cheese, greatly affecting her behavior (she’s been on an casein-free diet for more than 18 months now, with occasional minor infractions). Last week, while Super Dad and I were at a meeting at church, she downed a whole package of cheese, some cheez-its, and, after attacking her sister who gave up and let her eat what she wanted…some macaroni and cheese.

The results (besides a very ticked-off big sister) were two days of very upset stomach,... more

Parenting special needs children is harder than it has to be. Yes, it’s an extremely hard job, requiring the parent to learn new levels of patience and self-sacrifice that others have no idea about. And the truth is, most parents are willing to do that…there are so many willing to step up and go that extra (long) mile for their special needs adopted or foster child, even those parents who weren’t expecting a special needs adoption.

BUT…it’s all the rest of the “stuff” that parents of special children have to battle through that makes the job darn near IMPOSSIBLE.... more

Super Dad and LuLu survived their “vacation” in Florida. In fact, they did better than survive…they ENJOYED it! LuLu (the quintessential beach baby) convinced Super Dad to spend most of the day on the beach, swimming, building sand castles and exploring for a variety of crabs, sand dollars, and even jelly fish.

And Super Dad, prepared for a daily storm (it rains everyday in Florida…and LuLu has a minor meltdown of her own nearly every day), weathered it all well. He was proud of having “made it” and I know a bit relieved to be home.... more

My gardening efforts are definitely a metaphor for my life. I blogged about this earlier in our dry spring here, how last year’s garden had failed miserably, but we had “turned over a new leaf” and things were growing.

By updating you on the status of my gardening efforts, I’m probably giving you more insight on my crazy, albeit more-fruitful-than-last-year, life. A few weeks ago we had two beautiful rows of lettuce that had nearly reached maturity, when one day…to my great frustration…I... more

This was Kay’s observation today, as I decompressed from my day of strategies related to our court case. And she’s right. From her idealistic 16 years, she is appalled and can’t understand why someone won’t do something to make this “right”.

“Why won’t someone help us, Mom? Why are they so determined to make things so hard…can’t they see how much help LuLu needs?” she asked.

“What about LuLu’s former teacher?” she bemoaned. “Out of everyone, she knows our family well, she knows how LuLu struggles and what her needs are. Why didn’t she... more

“It was a good day,” Super Dad declared as we strolled back to our car after the local firework display.

Around this place, that’s quite an accomplishment. And with the excitement of a bonafide holiday thrown in…it’s a rare accomplishment for sure.

And the day was quite long. We awoke at 4:30 am to prepare for our pre-dawn trek to downtown Atlanta. Yes, we were headed for the Peachtree Road Race, with about 60,000 of our closest friends. Super Dad and I, and for the first... more

Today was LuLu’s first day at a social skills day camp. She was excited to be going (independent of mom) and so was I. As is often expected with her excitement, she began to escalate. We couldn’t find her tennis shoes, and for a moment I thought a meltdown was about to start.

Instead, she pulled it together (albeit shaky) and we settled for some heavy-soled sandals and a rush to the car. She started to go down her negative thought path, but I kept talking her back, reminding her how much fun she was going to have, how much she had been looking forward to this and... more