No doubt that no matter where you live on this planet you’ve at least heard that the Southeastern US is in the worst drought since the late 1800s. The wildfires in Florida and South Georgia have been burning for weeks. In late May we got residual smoke as far north as here in Atlanta (get out your map to see that it’s several hundreds of miles). It looked like a thick fog, and the smoky smell was so strong that you were sure the neighbor was burning leaves…and you were expecting a firetruck at any moment.

So things are hot and dry here. But even more so in terms of our... more

For LuLu, I’m the only mom she’s ever known. She totally understands that she has a Chinese birthmom who “couldn’t keep her”, but unlike many other adoptees the loss of that birthmom has never been a huge emotional issue for her. Probably because she has so many other issues.

She and I both focus our anger and frustration on whatever abusive and neglectful treatment she received in the orphanage. This is the source of her trauma and overshadows that early abandonment entirely.

In LuLu’s mind, her birthmom is dead. While she can... more

Sandra’s wonderful picture of her father-in-law and children reminded me of this one of my father and LuLu about a week after her arrival from China – which was 9 years ago this month. As you can see, Grandpa and Lu are dancing.

My fondest memories of my dad include dancing. From the time I was little, it was obvious that my dad loved to dance. I have early memories of him cranking up the Curtis Mathis stereo, slipping on a Benny Goodman or Glenn... more

I walked our dog late last night, leaving LuLu in the backyard to chase fireflies and hunt for bugs. When I returned a few minutes later, I could hear LuLu’s voice coming from the neighbor’s back porch.

“What are you doing over there?” I yelled. “I’m talking to Ms. Peggy, Mom.” “Is it ok with Ms. Peggy?” I asked. Peggy responded to the affirmative. Then LuLu responded, “I’m telling Ms. Peggy about Jesus.”

I stood in the driveway and listened as LuLu’s voice grew louder and more determined. ... more

Thanks to the blogs here, I knew about Build-a-Bear for Orphans day. So I loaded up LuLu and her dear friend in the car early Saturday morning and headed to the mall, determined to be one of the first 200 there to make our free bears. I needn’t have hurried, as when we arrived there was no massive crowd, nor were there any signs explaining what to do to make the bears.

But we quickly found the box of unstuffed animals and got in line for the “stuffer”. ... more

To be sung to your favorite blues riff:

Early every morning Alarm clock fills my head. Even at 5:30 am My heart fills with dread.

I stumble to the kitchen Search for the coffee pot. The impending doom Fills my soul a lot.

I’m an overwhelmed mom Of a special needs kid. Not sure how I got in this place, Was it something I did?

Day after day Nothing seems to change. Researching, calling Appointments to arrange.

Around every corner... more

Well, we survived another! My secret: I changed my expectations! I’ve spent the last week reading tons of blogs, posts on listserves and emails from friends who seem to have a very hard time coping with Mother’s Day. No matter how you slice it, motherhood is full of pitfalls. And whether you’re a birth mom, step mom, adoptive mom, foster mom, widowed grandmother living away from your children, childless due to infertility…well it can be less than a perfect day for any of us.

So what’s an exhausted mom of special needs adopted... more

We’ve been back in regularly scheduled trauma therapy with LuLu for a couple of months now. It was definitely time. She’s reached puberty, and due to the nature of her abuse as an infant, all kinds of feelings and memories have surfaced. And due to the other therapies we have done, such as neurofeedback and HBOT, she is now more able to access and process those emotions.

One of the things... more

Our garden is the one measurement I’m clinging to that proves to myself things are getting better. Last spring we decided that since both LuLu and I would be home full-time, planting a vegetable garden made perfect sense. I love home-grown tomatoes, and the project could be a learning experience for LuLu.

The project failed. LuLu wasn’t able to do any of the planning or caretaking, without much effort on my part. And it became a huge chore, and another source of failure, to haphazardly take care of the garden. So bugs ate some of the plants, others just died,... more

As much as I didn’t feel like we’d ever be ready for our weekend in the mountains, it was such a blessing! My addled brain was able to muster together enough coherence to pack nearly everything that KayKay and I needed to go on the youth fundraiser portion. And Super Dad and LuLu joined us Saturday night.

LuLu spent an exciting day on Saturday watching sheep being sheared, wool being spun into yarn and soap being made. By the time we hooked up about 3:30, she was napping in the car. KayKay and I had spent an equally exciting day, serving snacks... more