With holiday planning and activities cranking up to high gear, parents of special kids have special challenges. This adds to the stress, anxiety and “to do” lists of many parents. After 8 holiday seasons parenting LuLu, here are some tips/ideas we use that might be helpful to you as well.

1. Focus on the reason for the season. This sounds simple, trite and obvious. But it is easily overlooked in the hustle and hassle of the holiday trappings. If you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, help your child learn and understand... more

I Hate Adoption Too!

There’s this still small voice inside of me. That voice in my soul that for all my life BL (before LuLu) drove me toward adoption. It tells me that adoption was indeed the right choice for my family. And that adoption is the right choice for other families as well. And that adoption is an incredibly valuable choice for unplanned pregnancies ( vastly preferable to orphanages full of starving and abused infants). But me advocating... more

Uh oh…it’s contagious! That negative attitude…that “snit addiction” from Dr. G…it’s spreading…

Or, more accurately, as Adrienne put it, “she doesn't really hate adoption - she just hates having to think about it and write about it and worry about it all the time.” That’s me! I hate how adoption has consumed my life!

The statistics... more

Another mom’s question about whether her child had RAD or autism sparked my thinking about the complexity of diagnosing post-institutionalized and traumatized children. You can find my musings in these blogs :

Autism and RAD The Combo Platter

So for me the next logical question is if our children have a smattering of any number of disorders but no clear cut determination... more

Something’s happening to LuLu. I keep catching her singing. Mostly it’s Christmas songs, but you have to understand that never before has she just spontaneously hummed a tune, any tune. Her mood is light.

Sure, there are still the occasional stormy rages. But in between, the calm is…well calmer.

And her sense of humor is increasing as well. Yesterday she joked with me, got up from her desk and said “You’re so funny Mom!” and TICKLED ME! What’s up with that???

And yesterday, for the 5th time in a week, I found her... more

I’m going to depart from my usual topic of parenting challenging children to an equally large challenge we’ve been experiencing…parenting a teenager whose friends’ parents have died. As odd as it seems to us, two of our 15-year-old’s friends have lost one of their parents in the last two weeks and a third one has a father hospitalized with cancer. And only a couple short months ago one of KayKay’s friends was diagnosed with leukemia and is currently in a fight of her own.

It’s a grim reality that I don’t remember experiencing as a high schooler…that... more

My dear, sweet sister-in-law sends us a White House Christmas Ornament every year. These ornaments, available through the White House Historical Association, are sold to raise money for this non-profit’s acquisition of historical furnishings and artwork for the permanent White House collection, and to preserve the public rooms of the White House. They are always beautifully intricate ornaments and come with a booklet about the President they represent. Last year’s was James Garfield... more

“Nothing can keep you from reaching your goals.” I save the messages from Chinese fortune cookies when they seem especially meaningful or inspiring. I saved this one from a few weeks ago and all it’s done is make me laugh (the bitter laughter of sarcasm).

Living my life often feels like running through the La Brea tar pits with 50-pound weights strapped to my thighs while trying to juggle flaming batons and balance a delicate vase of crystal on my head. And that’s on the good days.

I had high hopes for accomplishing... more

It feels like such a delicate balancing act with LuLu…the child will so many disabilities (of the “hidden” neurological kind). We have been having a pretty darn good week, with the biggest frustrations being her ability to chat on endlessly and occasional bouts of bossiness. But the bottom dropped out today. (The school system is probably bookmarking this blog entry, but so be it – the truth is just that…the truth).

Her snit started building last night and it mushroomed today into several fits of uncontrollable behavior. She’s barely get on... more

I hate it when I realize how far “behind the times” I am. Society has a way of moving on without me while I stay immersed in raising my family and focusing on the needs of my challenging little one.

We are shopping for a new kitchen table. The one we have used through the 13 years of our marriage was purchased used by Super Dad’s sister and brother-in-law probably 40+ years ago. It is wonderful solid wood with a now non-existent finish and chairs that are beautiful, but need a major regluing, refinishing overhaul. Super Dad suggested that it be... more