I’m definitely foggy today, not really knowing what to think and how to feel.

We hospitalized LuLu last night. While I could easily start questioning myself on whether or not this was a good idea, the truth is she needed it, I needed it, and we needed another group of people’s opinion on what to do next. With children who have complex issues, the only way that professionals can truly get the picture is to spend a great deal of time with them.

It wasn’t something I’d been thinking about doing – it sort of just happened. Since the hair incident, it has become increasingly apparent... more

One of my readers summed up this whole retaliation issue nicely:

This is such a big problem - way bigger than I ever imagined when I was fighting my losing battle a few years ago.

My sentiments exactly…I had no idea when we became victims of the system how big this problem was, and how many people just don’t know that countless people are being retaliated against by school systems. It’s bewildering at best. Barely a week goes by that I don’t have contact with a parent who has become a victim. The scare tactics are predictable,... more

It’s happening more and more in response to LuLu’s explosions…I shut down. By the time I got us safely home from church last night, I was wiped out. I had plenty of other things to accomplish this evening, as it was only 8:30, but my brain was mush. And my body could barely move.

I actually snuggled and consoled LuLu, and she calmed down, only to flare again, so I gave her the additional medication she takes when she can’t calm down, and hurried her off to bed…mostly because I had had enough!

I can’t describe the “shut down” feeling to those who haven’t... more

LuLu is definitely the chronological age to do some basic household chores. And over the last few years we’ve worked hard to institute these at various times. But just like everything else in LuLu’s obsessive-compulsive, and often defiant, life, chores can easily become huge battlegrounds.

So, having learned the hard way with a kid who is STUCK that the goal is self-regulation (calming) more than it is to learn the chore, I’ve definitely picked my battles. So at this point, LuLu is down to only the basic contribution to the household…making her bed, putting... more

Bright and early this morning I caught that big steel bird headed north – from Atlanta to Philly and then on to Providence, Rhode Island for the ATTACh conference, where I’m connecting with hundreds of parents and therapists of traumatized and attachment-affected children. And frankly, I grateful to be able to be here, given all the hair-raising and hair-shaving events of the past few days.

Having discovered that the Stinky Cheese Monster was to blame for much of LuLu’s ills,... more

I handled the whole hairless LuLu situation pretty well yesterday. Maybe it’s because I received the news over the phone and could prepare myself for the mental picture. Maybe it’s because she had done a much milder version in the spring. But yesterday was more about doing triage for Super Dad (who had been caught in the eye of Hurricane LuLu), and figuring out how to make lemonade out of her chopped up hair style.

Today, I’m mourning the loss of her hair. LuLu has beautiful black silken hair. We haven’t seen it for a while. Last spring’s incident forced a very short... more

Who needs it? At least that’s the new motto around here. I spent the weekend at my Partners in Policymaking class, and by all reports all was fine on the homefront for the vast majority of the weekend. Except…(isn’t there always an except?)

LuLu and Super Dad had a disagreement about where LuLu was going to sit at church. When you rewind the tape it sounds more like they had a misunderstanding (LuLu misunderstood and escalated), and the trouble began. This is not unusual at our house and is part and parcel of our complex daughter’s complex combination of disabilities.... more

Have I mentioned that I hate our insurance company (companies, as it is)? Super Dad is likely cringing as he reads this, since he works for an insurance company. (A wonderfully generous and pleasant place to work, I might add.) I mean, specifically as the customer of a medical insurance company…I truly hate the experience.

You have to understand something upfront about insurance companies…they are for-profit entities. And their profits increase when they don’t have to pay your claim. So, regardless of how an insurance company markets themselves to you or your employer, they are better off if they can find a way NOT to have to pay you money.

Keeping this reality in mind... more

“Why DO People distroy Animal Habitat?”

That’s what it says on the top of a picture LuLu drew today. She presented it to me with lots of pent up fervor about how animal habitats were being destroyed at an alarming rate and that as industries polluted waters and fish died, it also made the birds sick.

She went on to tell me all about the plastic rings of the six-pack containers choking birds and how people knock down all the trees. When I asked her what show she had been watching, she replied that she was reading about the birds and the water pollution in a book. SHE WAS... more

LuLu has always cracked me up whenever we talk about the Fruit of the Spirit. She is most fascinated with this topic, because she so longs for the fruit. One year it was the theme of our Vacation Bible School and the children all got bracelets with one of the fruits on the bracelet. LuLu chose Self Control.

The irony is huge here, as LuLu is truly the most impulsive child I have ever met. If the thought goes through her head she acts on it or speaks it. While I can explain that all away with the ADHD and OCD diagnoses, it doesn’t make it any easier to live with. And probably the... more