About a year ago, we acquired our dog, Mudflap. She came from some college-aged kids that Kay knows, who were moving out of their apartment and into places where dogs were not allowed. She had only lived with them a few months, actually (we didn’t know it at the time), having originally been owned by the boss of one of the kids. She was spade, house broken, two years old, and it sounded like a great deal. In reality, she was overweight (due to not having enough exercise), and I now believe was a bit traumatized.

While she was very sweet, and a pretty easy... more

Here’s a picture of Kay and her new love…she calls him “Henry”. He’s an older model, high mileage Volvo, but he looks as good as a brand new Ferrari to her. Kay passed her driving exam on Tuesday, and drove herself to school yesterday.

And already I’m realizing just how beneficial this is to me. Last night, for example, Kay took LuLu to Wednesday night activities at our church, while I met LuLu’s teachers for an IEP meeting. While I was very nervous about this, it all worked out fine.

It introduces a whole new level of things to worry about, though. I now have to worry... more

While I’m home most of the day with my little pecking chick, I am watching my other little chick start to take flight and ready herself to leave the nest. We bought Kay a car last week. It’s a very used Volvo, but in good condition. I call it the “Teen Tank” – a heavy piece of metal with dual airbags and not at all sporty looking…a safe move, we hope.

Frankly I’m in my own near state of panic as I increasingly realize just how little time with Kay I have left. She’s an 11th grader, which means that in a mere... more

If your child is a bully, or being bullied, there is a very high likelihood that he (she) will be diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder. A study published recently in the journal Pediatrics coming out of Finland shows that nearly all the boys who either were the bullies or were the victims exhibited some type of psychiatric disorder by the age of eight.

Those doing the bullying were more likely to be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder... more

Kay is convinced that she is often invisible. And I have to say that one of the moms at ATN’s conference did cut me to the quick when she said upon meeting Kay, “I didn’t know you had another daughter. You never talk about her.”

She’s right. I definitely hyperfocus on LuLu and her issues, especially when I’m around other moms of special needs kids. But in my heart, Kay is far from invisible. One of the benefits of the ATN conference is that Kay loves working along side me and the other volunteers. And she does a stellar job!

The... more

Why should siblings be placed together if they don’t know anything about each other? Perhaps a baby was born 10 years after an unrelated family adopted an older sibling. They don’t need to know about each other, do they? Everybody gets a baby, everybody is happy, and it is all shrouded in secrecy.

In our family, we had one scenario that turned out wonderfully, another that turned out tragically. Individual workers, based on their personal philosophies of what constituted a sibling, made both decisions.

At... more

Why is the sibling bond so important? If siblings are split up, then two or more families can be blessed by adoption, and everybody is happy, right? If the siblings have special needs or severe behaviors, it will be much easier on the families parenting them to split them up, right?

According to the CHILDREN AND FAMILY RESEARCH CENTER, Sibling... more

Welcome to the world of adoption and foster care where who a sibling is, or whether siblings should or shouldn’t be placed together, is sometimes based on one worker’s discretion. Some offices base their placement decisions on county policy, office policy, or on a placement team’s discretion. Of course, whoever made the decision, based it on “the best interest of the child.”

Both the federal and the state governments have written protocol, which outline how and when, siblings should be placed together. However,... more

Yet another child has completed high school, five down, and at least seven to go. Our focus for the week was cleaning the house, picking up the yard, decorating, and preparing food for the open house that we had Sunday afternoon. I expected all the children to pitch in and help, because everyone helps whenever it’s their turn to have a party or a sleepover. It was going well, until I had to leave for a few hours to work, on Saturday morning. The child left in charge, was the one for whom we had been preparing the party.

The problem... more

One of the complaints Kay levies every so often is that she’s the “invisible” child…that LuLu gets all the attention. Granted LuLu does get the lion’s share of attention. It’s hard not to focus on her, given her disorders, doctor’s appointments, homeschooling, trial/due process issues. Yes, I eat, sleep and breathe LuLu’s issues.

I assured dear Kay, though, that my recent “awareness” of her grades and late assignments made her anything but invisible to me…that if she wanted my attention, then she had it. Of course, both she and I know that... more