Happy Chinese New Year (albeit a bit late). This is the Year of the Rat, a special occasion in our household, since LuLu was born in the year of the Rat. Unlike what we in Western cultures think, Rats hold a place of real honor in the ancient Chinese culture, and is the first animal of the Chinese zodiac. The legend contents that as the animals crossed the river to the Jade Emperor in a contest to see who would arrive first, it was the rat, clever fellow that he was, who climbed aboard the Ox’s back and then scurried... more

Every day of this Christmas break I have planned to: a. write a holiday letter; b. have LuLu do just a little bit of school work; and c. catch up on a work project I put off until this week. Well, the week is technically over and the only one of these things that has gotten done is a couple hours of geometry that Kay did with LuLu yesterday.

Mostly, I’m concerned that our holiday letter won’t get written. Last year I actually got the picture taken, letter written and cards all mailed before Christmas. This year…zippo. I had planned on us taking a picture... more

I started to write this blog a few days ago to tell you how fortunate we are to have a circle of friends who are nearly like family to us. We’ve been going to church with these people for over 10 years, and they are dear enough to us that we see them usually twice a week, and share all kinds of life events. (One even went with me to help admit LuLu to the psych hospital this fall, since Super Dad was out of town.) I’m not sure how we would survive being several hundreds of miles away from all family members if we didn’t have friends who were close enough to take... more

Kelly, on the Foster Adoption Blog just wrote about her holiday traditions, and got me to thinking…do we have holiday traditions? Sometimes I hear about all those families who have such meaningful rituals and I feel a bit jealous. But then, I realized we do indeed have traditions uniquely our own. Here are ours.

A Game for the Family. We’re a game-playing family, with the exception of LuLu, who finds it both hard to follow the game and overwhelming in a sensory way.... more

As our older two kids were headed out the door from our Thanksgiving Cranium bash last Thursday, the eldest asked, “So when’s the party?”

I was confused.

He explained that he didn’t want to miss this year’s Christmas party, because they are always so much fun. Apparently, we have inadvertently started a Christmas party tradition at our house. And my addled brain hadn’t grasped its importance, nor had I planned on hosting a party this year.

The other older child chimed in and both exclaimed that this was something they “wanted” for Christmas. Kay... more

Today was such an awesome day. I loved it when a day exceeds my expectations! Having put the majority of the elbow grease for our meals into yesterday, all that was required of me to finish brunch this morning was to sprinkle some brown sugar and blueberries on the French toast and pop it into the oven. Then I just had to convince Super Dad to fry the eggs and I popped open the mimosa ingredients and – voila! I was truly THANKFUL!

Earlier in the morning, Super Dad jumped out of bed to head off to his run. I had planned to tag along, but it was pouring down rain. Again, since here in the South we are dreadfully short on rain, even though the shower threatened to ruin Super Dad’s... more

As promised, here are our very non-traditional Thanksgiving plans: Super Dad will awake early to run a 10K whose proceeds benefit a local food pantry, cleverly named “Gobble Jog”. After that we will dine on the non-traditional Thanksgiving brunch of French toast casserole, eggs, sausage and mimosas (yummy). The older children will arrive between their huge meals elsewhere for an afternoon of the one Thanksgiving tradition we plan to observe – playing Cranium. Supper around here will likely be homemade soup, as Kay, sans wisdom teeth, will be most comfortable... more

One of the hardest part of the holidays, and visits with extended family or friends you see infrequently, is that you’re likely to be subjected to someone’s “expert” opinion about how you should raise your special child. These (always unsolicited) offers of advice are especially hard to handle when they are:

a. offered by a family member b. offered with a tone of criticism…or sometimes directly as an attack of what you should or shouldn’t have done. c. Offered by someone who is childless d. Offered by someone whose children have no disabilities... more

Many of you may be nodding your heads in agreement with keeping the holidays simple, flexible, inexpensive…and you’re ready and willing to do this. But it isn’t long until someone in your family protests. Usually it’s an extended family member – your mother, sister, uncle, grandfather – someone who doesn’t understand why holidays can’t be like they were “before”.

This is where your plans for flexibility and simple traditions start to derail. It’s also where the extended family member (whether they intend to or not) lay on the heavy guilt trip. ATN’s... more

Nancy Deren, one of my dear readers, posted about her way of flexibly dealing with holidays and the extra stress they can bring. I think what she says clearly embodies what I’ve been trying to communicate. It is very important that we expand our thinking when it comes to celebrating holidays, and that we do what works for our families and ourselves at any given point. Here’s what Nancy had to say:

One of the changes we've made is developing various traditions that take place at home and can happen on any day in case the child is in the hospital... more