I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older or because I’m lost in disability world, but 2007 just flew past me, and I have little memory of the whole blurry 12 months. In fact, reading the year-end reflections in the newspaper remind me just how “out of it” I am.

My younger sister had severe asthma and allergies as a child. I can remember my mother commenting that she had a “missing decade” from her life (mid-1960s to mid-1970s) when she had no idea what the current events were. I thought that was such an odd thing; to be so “out of it” that you didn’t... more

At times, I have found it difficult to transition my parenting tactics when a child's behavior has significantly improved. Think about how you parent each child in your home. A toddler needs constant supervision and so do some older children. For example, a child who has perpetrated another child, self-mutilated, or extremely destructive may require vigilant parenting. You may need to either remain in the same room as the child or strategically place monitors in rooms so you can hear everything going on. You remain on high alert, ready to intervene within seconds.

Think... more

I am not a liar and I do not appreciate being made to look like one. I based my decision to allow my daughter to attend an after Christmas party on lies. However, at the time I made the decision I did not know they were lies. I found out the night before the party that she had lied and it was too late for her to call them. Therefore, I decided to take her to the party and let her explain in person why she was unable to stay. I asked her to preplan what she was going to say and then I let her practice on me. I told her not to worry about messing up because I would be... more

Mary Owlhaven has it right…and was gutsy enough to say so in today’s blog: Adopted babies and working moms. Mary used the term “working mom”, which may cause part of the stir, because yes a dad can be a primary caregiver.

The point, however, is that children need to attach to a primary caregiver (one) first. The health of that attachment to the primary caregiver determines the child’s overall emotional development and health and sets the tone for all relationships to follow. When... more

I’m on vacation…only it’s not the same kind of vacation most people think of. There’s no Club Med, no airline tickets, no cruise ship and I don’t even have to stop the newspaper from being delivered or board the dog. I’m giving myself permission not to do what I would normally be doing. And that, by my meager definition, is a vacation.

I realized today that our tribe didn’t take a “true” vacation this year. The only traveling we did as a family was a trek to Missouri for the ATN conference in August and some visiting with my family while there. It’s been... more

Part of family traditions is expecting the same things to happen every year no matter what. For children newly adopted into your family the first year can be a little confusing. There are so many new faces and names to learn, let alone trying to figure out how you are related to each one. I suppose it is somewhat like being newly married. Every year we go to Grandma Fuller’s home on Christmas Eve and my husband’s brother and sister, along with their children are always there. She always has pizza for dinner and we all bring a finger food side dish.

Grandma... more

I rarely watch Dr. Phil. I find it completely ludicrous that anyone would believe for one second that people’s problems could be solved in a 60-minute show. And while, for many problems (and many people) the “suck it up” message is the right one, there are others (like parenting children with disabilities) for which the answers are not that easy.

So, when I heard that Dr. Phil was doing a show yesterday on parenting children with autism, I was only mildly interested. So it was completely by accident... more

Should our children with special needs, especially those with traumatic pasts, be worried about what Santa might or might not be bringing??? I’m pondering this and once again realize that those of us parenting challenging children may be in a no-win situation.

Julia, writing over on the Adopting a Sibling blog and Nancy over on the RAD blog have both written... more

I posted a few days ago some of my thoughts on protecting LuLu’s (and the other children’s) privacy vs. sharing our story/struggles. And one of the most wonderful things about adoptionblogs.com is that readers give me even more food for thought. So, I’m still thinking…

Nancy Deren gave some great input on the “person first” movement.

I've seen that language does have an impact on how people are treated. Using negative language reinforces subconscious... more

Dani and I went out together this afternoon on a shopping spree. We left the other children at home and had mommy and daughter time. She certainly did not earn a shopping spree; her behavior over the past year has been quite naughty. However, we have a very special occasion coming up which requires a new dress and it seemed appropriate for mommy and daughter to do the shopping together. Her adoption will be finalized on Tuesday at the National Adoption Day ceremony. We didn’t just shop for a new dress because the press will be there and the event is open to the public.

It... more