A fellow adoptive mom asked me this question this week. Her son has been diagnosed with ADHD, and has seen some improvements through medications and the removal of food coloring and casein from his diet. But she’s seeing signs that he’s struggling academically, and there are still many more “little” things going on.

Initially the professionals they were consulting dismissed the idea of the autism spectrum because her son has language, and very assertively uses it. She knows LuLu, and knows that we’ve had the diagnosis of PDD-NOS for several years. “He reminds... more

If you know someone parenting an autistic child, or a child with any neurological impairment, take the time to read The Chronicles of Ben from yesterday’s (June 10) Chicago Tribune.

This article is written by David Royko, son of the late columnist Mike Royko), and parent to a 12-year-old autistic boy. I was profoundly moved by David’s in-depth, accurate and heart-wrenching description of what it was like to raise this special child and then have to make the difficult decision to send him to a residential treatment center in order to allow the family to survive.

There... more

Our family was looking for a special needs toddler to adopt a few years ago. We applied for a beautiful set of twins that were nearly two years old, a boy and a girl. The twins were born three months premature and exposed to illegal drugs while in the uterus. We were told the children were very delayed and while they continued to make steady progress, it was slow and they still couldn’t walk or talk. They were involved in physical therapy and early intervention services and seeing an ophthalmologist regularly. They had also been in the same foster home since their release from the hospital, which lessened their chances for attachment problems.

We were very comfortable with the... more

My arms shook as I buckled myself back into the driver’s side of the car. Jay sat cattycorner behind me, buckled into his seat. He was slumped down and had his eyes closed.

Craig babbled at him in greeting.

Jimmy looked at me incredulous. “How did you do it?”

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It took me less than a second to make up my mind – I would use fear as a tactic.

“Jay, listen to me. Remember when we talked to your psychologist? He said if you didn’t start cooperating more at school the school would try to send you to a school for the emotionally disturbed?”

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At this point I wish I could say when I saw Jay sitting, curled up against the fence totally overwhelmed that I calmed down and felt compassion. I’d like to say I figured out how to defuse the situation and make him feel better.

I can't.

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First ditch the guilt and fear

If you’re anything like me, you have some guilt and fear about uprooting your special needs child and replanting them.

My oldest son has high-functioning autism. Translated this means change is incredibly difficult for him. It can be almost paralyzing. Jay can shut down for months until he processes his new environment and becomes comfortable with it. Typically his shutdown behavior manifests itself the strongest at school.

My guilt revolved around forcing change onto Jay. I knew how it could affect him and spent many nights mentally obsessing over potential calamities instead of sleeping. My husband, Jimmy, and I wrote... more

Jay was close to the fence and walking down to the gate. Right then my fear turned into rage. It made the anger I had felt earlier seem like a fluffy pillow fight. This was full on, can’t see straight, think clearly rage. That kid was going to get himself hurt or killed. I spun around and ran hard back to the car.

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Jay stomped faster the closer I got. The panic that had subsided earlier came back with walloping thumps. What if Jay walked right through the park gate and took off into a neighborhood? We were at the fairgrounds in an unfamiliar town. I got the impression this wasn’t exactly the safest area.

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Jay furiously and swiftly stormed away from us. I figured we’d meet him back at the car. I felt no need to chase him down or keep my gait even with his. He needed some space. I could understand that.

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