Many older children who enter the U.S. foster care system have sleep issues. Sleeping issues include trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, night terrors, and bedwetting to name a few. It shouldn’t be surprising that they have sleep issues considering the trauma they have experienced. Many children who have suffered sexual abuse were awakened in their beds from sleep to be raped by a trusted adult. Who knows how long sleep anxiety may last after that type of experience. For those who did not suffer that type of abuse you can still understand their unease.

They... more

Ok, Super Dad has tried to tell me over the years. But, I did not want to listen. Why didn’t I want to listen or believe him? I suppose that would be admitting that our daughter is not going to get better. During her first year of living with us therapist, teachers, and foster care workers all praised her progress. Then she turned five and continued to make progress that surprised many. By the time she was six, I believed that her original delays were from lack of early stimulation. Yes, we could fix her and that year we adopted her.

She had always taken... more

Have you adopted an older child either from foster care or internationally? If you have, does your child smother friendships? Many of these children suffer from low self-esteem. Therefore, they feel the need to buy friendships. One of my adopted daughters took gifts to a friend every week. They were not expensive gifts. She took things she had made like beaded jewelry, key chains, or bookmarks. She took personal belongings such as lip-gloss or lotion. After several weeks, her friend began to think her behavior was strange. That is when I found out about... more

When I awoke this morning, I didn’t think I would be able to write today. I awoke during the night when the power went out because of a storm and then went back to sleep. The power goes out frequently during our storms here in the Midwest, so, I didn’t think anything of it. We have a generator that will run most of our house and water our cattle at the flip of a switch. Super Dad awoke early and I told him the power was out, so he headed outside to turn on the generator. Then he came back and brought me to the window to look outside. He couldn’t turn the generator on... more

Have you adopted a child with passive aggressive behaviors? It can be difficult not to get angry when the child breaks your things several times a week. Perhaps your child is one who seems to enjoy making special messes that you find in the morning. Have you ever noticed that your child’s passive aggressiveness seems to get worse, or episodes more frequent, after one of your angry outburst? Unfortunately, your righteous anger seems to feed their behaviors. Therefore, the secret to reducing or eliminating your adopted child’s passive aggressiveness is to minimize your reactions.... more

Did I mention that I hate school buses? For reasons I’m sure Freud would be able to explain, I have channeled all my anger, resentment and unresolved negativity about our due process court case with the school district onto school buses. The sight of them makes me cringe.

Today, after the debacle of an endocrinologist appointment, we returned to our neighborhood just in time to…you guessed it…get behind the school bus! Now ours is a large neighborhood, and we live in a cul-de-sac at the very back of it. The school bus makes no less than six stops along... more

Most days I’m able to get up and do my “mom thing” without much emotion or forethought. Today was like any other day, tooling along as I juggled convincing LuLu to do her composition assignment, letting the cable TV people in and out of the house to repair our service, and conferencing with LuLu’s teacher.

This afternoon we headed off to the long-awaited endocrinologist appointment (made 2 ½ months ago). I had major trepidation about this appointment, because I’d been forewarned by all the doctors “on our team” that endocrinologists are notoriously cautious... more

Now I’m not intending this to sound like whining, but it might. Instead, you have to understand that sometimes I just “observe” my life and have a vague recollection of what it would be like if I wasn’t parenting LuLu.

Yesterday LuLu, Kay and I had our semi-annual dental cleaning appointment. The girls’ appointment was scheduled for last week, while we were in Illinois; so we were fortunate that they had time to take them at the same time mine was scheduled on Monday. However, the way they had it set up was that Kay and I were to be cleaned at the same... more

I decided to try Julie’s reverse psychology, of prescribing the behavior that works so well with Lulu, on my teenage daughter. I told her that I had to go into work for a few hours. I knew she was going to want to take something while I was gone. I wanted her to know that it was ok for her to take whatever she wanted. I didn’t want to have that between us. I told her that it was causing a problem with our relationship and I didn’t want that to happen. She was quite upset by my telling her to go ahead and take whatever she wanted. She adamantly said that she didn’t want anything. She said... more

My daughter, as well as many other people in the world, cannot accept the blame for anything she does. Today, during a discussion about a school assignment that she didn’t turn in, she made the following statement. I have been asking God to help me, but he isn’t! I can tell you for sure, that her behavior will not change, if she doesn’t own her behavior. If she will not take responsibility for her actions then she cannot change them. This has been a major blocking point that has prevented my teenage daughter from improving her behavior.

She refuses to take responsibility.... more