Have you adopted an older child either from foster care or internationally? If you have, does your child smother friendships? Many of these children suffer from low self-esteem. Therefore, they feel the need to buy friendships. One of my adopted daughters took gifts to a friend every week. They were not expensive gifts. She took things she had made like beaded jewelry, key chains, or bookmarks. She took personal belongings such as lip-gloss or lotion. After several weeks, her friend began to think her behavior was strange. That is when I found out about... more

I almost could not believe my ears as I listened to the story. My own daughter sat there in disbelief as I continued to ask pointed questions about how she succeeded. Her story is similar to my own daughter’s story because they share birthparents. She is the older sister, and they lived in the same home until shortly after my daughter turned three. Like my daughter, she has struggled over the years with lying, stealing, cutting, and destroying property that was not hers. Her lying was worse than my daughter’s lying, because at 15 she began making terrible accusations about... more

Does your adopted child suffer from posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) caused from early trauma? Trauma that happened before you ever met your child may be adversely affecting your parent-child relationship. Most adoptive families try numerous techniques to help their affected children. Living with a person who suffers from PTSD can be difficult for the entire family making some families feel desperate for help. Parents of children with PTSD tend to get a little excited when we hear about a new treatment. At least those of us with eternal optimism do.... more

A new study found evidence that eating disorders may be contagious among high school students. Researchers found that poor eating habits like binging, fasting, and using diet pills were clustered in areas within counties, especially among female teenagers. Teenage girls are subjected to strong social pressures to be thin and they are willing to use unhealthy behaviors to get thin. Researchers believe that finding clustered groups of teenagers with eating disorders, instead of county-wide sporadic... more

For as long as I can remember there has been mention in LuLu’s IEP about her doing certain activities with fading prompts or without needing an adult to sit right by her side. When she came home to do school, after February 2006, I realized exactly what was going on…that LuLu required one-on-one adult interaction for everything. Without this constant adult interaction (actually needing the adult right there by her side), several of LuLu’s disabilities would/could come into play, making it impossible for her to learn.

Without an adult to redirect her, LuLu would easily... more

Today, I left for 45 minutes to take Lane to college. Upon my return, the four year old says, “Dani was coloring while you were gone and not doing her school.” While it doesn’t seem like a huge infraction, we’ve been discussing this type of behavior for several days. It seems that she will do anything to avoid doing her schoolwork. It isn’t just because she is homeschooled this year either, her teacher told me the same thing last year when she was a public school.

She received three “Es” on her report card last year for not turning in assignments according to... more

As parents, we usually try to encourage our children to work out their differences with other children at school. We want them to learn some independence and problem solving skills. However, according to a new study, we probably should get more involved in our child’s business.

Researchers in Canada followed nearly 2,000 children from Kindergarten through the seventh grade. They found that 17 percent of the children studied said that they started having sex by the end of seventh grade. The common factor cited for early sexual involvement seemed to be peer rejection.... more

In the series on developing IEPs I’ve been writing, I addressed the nuts and bolts of how functional behavioral assessments and positive behavioral interventions should be a part of a child’s IEP if the behaviors impede his learning (or the learning of other children). But there’s so much more to address when it comes to behavioral interventions at school, especially for traumatized children and/or those with a combo platter of disabilities.

The causes of our children’s behaviors are complex…the antecedents are often not clear…and... more

I really did think I’d have a quiet, relaxing weekend after a week of “fighting the dragons” (LuLu’s term) in court last week. But alas, the phone kept ringing.

There were numerous well-wishers calling to check on our trial status. One was the mother of a kindergartener, adopted internationally. Once I gave her the update on us, I asked how her son was doing. Not good…

Her son is having some major problems at school, especially with the red light-yellow light-green light system for tracking behaviors. Her son has been on red or yellow... more

This is the way LuLu is often viewed. I see it coming. A "professional" starts asking lots of questions about LuLu's behaviors, her background, our history and he/she gets that look of great interest on his/her face. The words like "research", "hypothesis", "study" start coming up more and more frequently and pretty soon I realize this person has great thesis plans based on LuLu.

So it was yesterday when I met with the school system's expert in severe behaviors. He holds a Ph.D. and is a self-proclaimed "pure behavioralist". I was (and still am) VERY apprehensive. While... more