First let me say that “all the rage” has two distinct meanings at my house. Yesterday, “all the rage” was the way that my 15-year-old described Sperry Top-Sider shoes. (Yes, anyone who was in high school or college during the Reagan-era is now laughing hysterically!) For reasons that I have yet to comprehend these boat shoes have made an enormous comeback in my daughter’s high school. So enormous in fact that none of the stores within driving distance of us carried her size yesterday.

So,... more

One of the “signs” of healing or progress, we’ve been told, is a developing sense of humor. Children who are able to “get” jokes are progressing developmentally and emotionally. The first time LuLu understood something was funny and laughed (only a couple of years ago), was a monumental occasion.

Since then, LuLu has tried to figure out “what is so funny” about a variety of things we laugh at. As a family, we’re hooked on humor. It’s what keeps us sane. We prefer comedies to other types of movies, watch stand-up comedians, read the comic... more

One of the beauties of schooling LuLu in a one-on-one environment, is the concept of unit studies. We structure her reading, language arts, social studies and science lessons around things of great interest. Once I started to get the hang of how to do this, it’s been kinda’ fun.

We’ve done a unit on volcanos: reading books about them (for reading); researching on the internet about where volcanic activity occurs (geography and research skills); building a working volcano (art and science). We’ve done a unit on bones (reading about it; researching calcium... more

LuLu is a paradox. On Friday, as usual, she took her weekly spelling test. I administered the test as I was also doing an IM meeting with our ADN conference committee. So I sat with my back to LuLu, who was working at her desk. And I was working at my computer.

I didn’t notice that she had laid one of her spelling assignments on the floor next to her, where she could easily copy the words as she was tested. BUT, when she finished the spelling test and proudly brought it to me she said, “Did I get them all right, Mom? I only had to look at this... more

LuLu and I went to see Charlotte’s Web last weekend. She really wanted to see it. It hasn’t been that long ago that LuLu’s inattentiveness and impulsiveness made sitting through a full length movie impossible. Or at least uncomfortable. But lately, we’ve noticed that she doesn’t even ask “When will it be over?” like she used to about 15 minutes into the movie.

She is also grasping more of the details…understanding the plot, understanding the characters, getting the jokes. Hurrah... more

A year ago this week LuLu had an incident where her trauma was triggered and she nearly hurt herself or KayKay. I had left them at home while running errands and LuLu was playing with a new doll she’d bought with Christmas money. We have always been leery of letting her play with dolls and dolly diapers because her trauma memories are triggered by diapers (among other things). But she so very much wanted the doll…

The incident led to some serious destruction of Christmas decorations (I lost my nativity scene) and near-injury with a pair of... more

Haven’t seen any other bloggers tackle this. Just what do you do with Santa Claus? That is always an interesting, sometimes heated, topic this time of year. How much, how far, how long do you encourage Santa…or do you discourage the whole idea?

And does the fact that our children are adopted change how you handle things? Some parents believe the answer to this is a resounding “yes”. That children who have experienced the grief and loss through adoption are especially vulnerable to what could be construed as a lie about Santa. Still... more

Well, today’s “LuLu Says” is not something she said. It’s a report of a monumental happening in the life of LuLu yesterday. Yesterday was THE day. At the ripe old age of 10 years, 2 months and 15 days, LuLu is experiencing her first monthly cycle. About a year ago, our psychiatrist announced to us that she had elevated hormone levels, based on the quarterly blood draws we were doing for medications. We discussed then about how concerning this elevation was in a child so young. But I’ve since been told by any number of medical professionals that... more

I’m convinced that the more stressful things that happen in your life…the more stressful things that happen. Maybe I’m finally getting that Murphy’s Law isn’t some joke that people who have mild everyday stress share and then just shrug their shoulders. Maybe for some people…it’s an everyday reality.

Parenting special kids is stressful beyond the “everyday stress” in so many ways. Potential battles are around every corner – the child’s disorder, doctors or other professionals who don’t understand, the schools, insurance companies, opinions of family and friends.... more

LuLu’s bucket holds a lot of frustration and anxiety. Too much, and it overflow (or erupts). Because she has such complex, interwoven disabilities, lessening the frustration and anxiety in her bucket is the best way to help her, and give her the opportunity to use her self-regulating skills.

Here are some things I know that help to empty LuLu’s bucket:

1. Keeping the same schedule every day. No surprises or last-minute changes. It doesn’t matter whether it’s something she’s excited about doing or not, changing her plans produces anxiety.

2.... more