We were perplexed by what the professionals at the international adoption clinic had to say. But I had found another source of information that was giving me a different perspective. An adoptive mom who was studying to become a therapist was organizing a list serve now known as Attach-China. What she and others were reporting there sounded so much like my daughter’s issues. I was happy to find someone who was seeing similar issues with sleep, language, rages and odd behaviors.

It’s hard to remember the exact steps I took next. But the more I delved into attachment... more

LuLu’s rages continued and became more frequent. In hindsight I believe she had dissociated for the first several months home. And all at once, like switching on a light, she had come out of that and into a full blown “fight” mode. Her main weapon was to scratch everyone in sight (herself included). Drawing blood produced an odd sense of relief in her.

Words can not describe the panic we felt. We began searching for help in what we felt were usual places…her pediatrician and then a local international adoption clinic. The pediatrician was quick to realize that... more

An eye problem caused by diabetes, called diabetic retinopathy, is the number one cause of blindness in adults in the United States., If your child has diabetes then his or her blood sugar levels are too high. High blood sugar can damage nerves or blood vessels over time. Diabetic retinopathy happens when the tiny blood vessels inside the retina are damaged from high blood sugar. The damage that can occur may include blood vessels swelling and leaking fluid or new abnormal blood vessels may grow... more

I was so unprepared for what lie ahead with parenting LuLu. I knew nothing about post-institutionalized children. And there was no one telling me. Our adoption agency did nothing to prepare me (except supply me with a reading list). I clearly remember the only book that hinted at attachment problems, Toddler Adoption: A Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins Best. I remember slamming the book shut, convinced that “that will never happen to us”. The issues she describes in that book are so tame compared to all we’ve been through.

The one advantage that Super... more

A friend asked me if I’d ever blogged in detail about how we “healed” LuLu’s attachment disorder. I have written several times that I know her attachment to us is much healthier than it was, but haven’t necessarily talked about how we got there. I’ve got to tell you that it hasn’t been a direct route. And as I play it back in my mind, although I know that her attachment is greatly healed, I still question which parts are which in a child with so many disorders.

So maybe, if I review it all here, you, my readers, can jump in with any insights. After nearly a... more

If your child has diabetes then his or her blood sugar levels are too high. High blood sugar can damage nerves or blood vessels over time. That nerve damage can result in burning pain or cause your child to lose sensitivity in body parts such as the feet. Because of lost sensitivity, your child may not feel a cut, blister, or sore. Ulcers and infections can result from these untreated foot injuries. Your child’s feet may eventually not get enough blood or oxygen due to... more

For those of us privately adopting infants this is rather scary news. A new study showed a connection between a mother suffering from severe stress during the first trimester of pregnancy and her child developing schizophrenia later in life. The study identified death, or severe illness that could result in death, of a close relative as a severe stressor. The study did not identify the stress of making a plan for an unexpected pregnancy as a severe stressor. However, the stress involved in planning... more

Does your adopted child have difficulty in school, with relationships, and processing information? Have you ever wondered if your child may have been exposed to alcohol while in utero, but thought there was no way to ever know for sure? Some children have facial features that indicate fetal alcohol exposure. Some of these indicating features are small eyes, low-set ears, or lack of a groove between the upper lip and nose to name a few. For children without these features we could only guess about fetal alcohol effect if we did not have contact with birth family. Now Researchers... more

One of my readers asked how I was able to get LuLu (queen of OCD with a capital O) to skip test questions and move on to the next one when she immediately didn’t know the answer. I’m not sure how much my actions are the direct cause of her new-found ability to do this. But here’s what I did toward that goal.

LuLu has been home with me (out of her brick & mortar public school) for a little over two years now. When she first came home, I was reeling from the shock that I was now totally responsible for my child’s education (and was mounting a due process case against... more

I love the smell of a freshly washed infant covered in baby lotion. You know, the kind in the pink bottle that has the smell that we all associate with babies. Every foster, adopted, and birth child that has lived with us under the age of five received a liberal dosing from head to toe everyday. Now I have guilt associated with those pleasant memories of sweet smelling infants. A recent study of phthalate exposure indicated that more than 80 percent of infants tested have been exposed. These substances are... more