Struggling with controlling impulses seems to be a common problem among traumatized children. It doesn’t seem to matter whether that trauma was in utero from drug or alcohol exposure, or inflicted during early life. Our adopted children, with a trauma history, FAS, or RAD, seem to all have struggles with impulse control. Sometimes, it seems like the behavior was intentional.

I have often asked my 11-year-old recently adopted daughter if she thought... more

Many older children who enter the U.S. foster care system have sleep issues. Sleeping issues include trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, night terrors, and bedwetting to name a few. It shouldn’t be surprising that they have sleep issues considering the trauma they have experienced. Many children who have suffered sexual abuse were awakened in their beds from sleep to be raped by a trusted adult. Who knows how long sleep anxiety may last after that type of experience. For those who did not suffer that type of abuse you can still understand their unease.

They... more

When you think about special moments spent bonding with your newly adopted daughter, does teeth brushing come to mind? I wrote a blog a couple of months ago about our 10-year-old daughter finally getting her braces. Here is the link if you want some background. Has Your Adopted Daughter Dreamed of Braces? She was a bit young to have braces but she had lost all of her baby teeth. Her excitement helped to rush the process a little. I have never met anyone so ecstatic about getting braces.... more

Does your adopted child suffer from posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) caused from early trauma? Trauma that happened before you ever met your child may be adversely affecting your parent-child relationship. Most adoptive families try numerous techniques to help their affected children. Living with a person who suffers from PTSD can be difficult for the entire family making some families feel desperate for help. Parents of children with PTSD tend to get a little excited when we hear about a new treatment. At least those of us with eternal optimism do.... more

Have you adopted a child with passive aggressive behaviors? It can be difficult not to get angry when the child breaks your things several times a week. Perhaps your child is one who seems to enjoy making special messes that you find in the morning. Have you ever noticed that your child’s passive aggressiveness seems to get worse, or episodes more frequent, after one of your angry outburst? Unfortunately, your righteous anger seems to feed their behaviors. Therefore, the secret to reducing or eliminating your adopted child’s passive aggressiveness is to minimize your reactions.... more

A panic attack is defined as suddenly feeling intense fear that develops for no apparent reason and triggers severe physical reactions. Some people feel like they are having a heart attack or possibly dying during a panic attack. Certainly, there is fear in losing control. They can make your heart pound, cause dizziness, nausea, and shortness of breath. While a panic attack would be frightening for anyone, it must be terrifying for a child. A child just placed with an adoptive or foster family probably... more

So far this month I’ve given much blog space to autism, because April is National Autism Awareness month. But the CDC, whose oft quote “1 in 150” statistic for the growing autism epidemic released another statistic yesterday:

“About 1 in 50 infants in the U.S. are victims of non-fatal child neglect or abuse.”

This equates to about 91,000 children under the age of 1 who have been abused, or more likely had their basic needs left unmet -- food, clothing, access to medical care. The report says nothing about the traumatic results... more

Every day at day care centers and preschools around the world, parents drop off young children who cling tightly to their legs, reluctantly letting go of their parents. On average, when a toddler is between 12-18 months, he will experience a bit of separation anxiety. This is considered developmentally normal.

How the adults in his world react can make a great deal of difference in how the child responds. There are many out there who will make the crucial mistakes of not giving a child time to adjust to new caregivers (in other words, just place the child... more

The hippocampus is part of the brain’s limbic system, the place where emotions are regulated. The hippocampus is believed to be involved in the formation of memories from experienced events…perhaps moving them from the emotionality of the rest of the limbic system into the temporal lobes (where supposedly memories are stored). Brain anatomy and function are much more complex than this, but since none of us have degrees in neurology…or at least I don’t…this oversimplification helps me understand.

Our brains have two hippocampuses (or hippocampi), which I found... more

Traumatized children can display some challenging behaviors for their adoptive parents and caregivers. These behaviors frequently tend to isolate these adopted children from the rest of the family or group. Giving them time out or sending them to their bedrooms can isolate them even more. Our therapist has been recommending time in for these traumatized adopted children. Time in, can help them connect with the parent or caregiver. Being in close proximity to a significant adult can help a traumatized child regulate his or herself.

Instead of sending the child off to a corner... more