The following is the second of a four-part open letter written by Amy Eldridge, Director of Operations for Love Without Boundaries. Amy brings up many interesting observations and opinions based on her experiences helping families adopt from China. While I don't agree 100% with everything she writes, I see her point. And do totally agree with her that EYES WIDE OPEN is the ONLY way to approach adoption of a post-institutionalized child.

Here's Part 1

One... more

The following is the first of a four-part open letter written by Amy Eldridge, Director of Operations for Love Without Boundaries. Amy brings up many interesting observations and opinions based on her experiences helping families adopt from China. While I don't agree 100% with everything she writes, I see her point. And do totally agree with her that EYES WIDE OPEN is the ONLY way to approach adoption of a post-institutionalized child.

"What to Expect When You're Expecting... more

I’m interested…very interested. So much of what parents are given by professionals in terms of parenting advice for any and all children are reward/consequence based strategies of behavior modification. But what if it doesn’t work? What if there isn’t a consequence out there that will stop your child’s negative behavior? What if there isn’t a reward they care a thing about?

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is different. It focuses on self-regulation of thoughts that trigger... more

I’m going to depart from my usual topic of parenting challenging children to an equally large challenge we’ve been experiencing…parenting a teenager whose friends’ parents have died. As odd as it seems to us, two of our 15-year-old’s friends have lost one of their parents in the last two weeks and a third one has a father hospitalized with cancer. And only a couple short months ago one of KayKay’s friends was diagnosed with leukemia and is currently in a fight of her own.

It’s a grim reality that I don’t remember experiencing as a high schooler…that... more

I was first introduced to the idea that a child could have a complex interwoven group of disorders versus just one definable disorder about five years ago when we did a neurofeedback intensive with a therapist in Utah. On the first day there, we conducted a quantitative EEG (QEEG) to measure LuLu’s brainwaves and do a statistical analysis on the electrical activity in various parts of her brain. As the therapist was downloading and reviewing this data to send to the neurologist for analysis, he couldn’t help but take a peek. He declared (and... more

The topic comes up time and time again when adoptive parents ask whether a child has Reactive Attachment Disorder or autistic spectrum disorders instead. Adoptive parents of traumatized children, especially those coming from institutions where neglect, poor nutrition and lack of stimulation seem to also be a part of the child’s history, often question the diagnoses they receive from professionals. Or the professionals question what other professionals have previously said. And the parents are left wondering who is correct and what the true “answer” is.

I’m... more

In Learning About Trauma from Elephants Part 1 & 2, I shared with you an article about how the elephant populations around the world seem to be suffering from a chronic traumatic stress that is threatening their very society. The article went on to describe the Elephant Sanctuary and their work with stressed-out captive elephants and their... more

Elephants who have been in captivity can now retire in a place called The Elephant Sanctuary, in the rolling hills of southern Tennessee. Many elephants who have performed for years in circuses and zoos end up there. Many of those have been harshly treated or mistreated and show signs of trauma. At this 2,700-acre refuge, the caregivers specialize in “trauma recovery” of these animals they say have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The sanctuary uses a method called “passive control” where no negative... more

Some of my email listmates posted links to this article, originally printed in the New York Times and more recently in the Toronto Star. This link is on the Elephant Sanctuary website (mentioned in the article).

There is much I find interesting in this article, knowing what I know about parenting a traumatized child (and... more

Gotta tell you what they’re up to at Fort Benning, here in Georgia. The Army has hired researchers from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) to research why so many soldiers don’t make it through basic training. Specifically these scientists are looking for biomarkers in the blood of recruits that can predict which ones will be most likely to have trouble making it through the stressful basic training.

Army Col. Richard Gonzalez is a physician and chief of the Departments of Surgery and Warrior Care at Fort Benning. He is working with the... more