Daily Blessings

I'm so proud of my two oldest kids. Today my daughter went to a friend's house and helped clean it. She said the mom told her, "You are such a good girl to help clean." I know she's a good cleaner because I'm the one that taught her -- and make her practice every week -- but I think the desire to work comes from her. My oldest son has a reputation for hard work in our neighborhood and at scout camps and church activities. Many times, I've been told by a neighbor or a leader that Gavin really worked hard, stayed focused and got a lot done. I don't think I taught him anything. He is just a good hard… [more]

By nature, I am a worrier. I do it all the time, even though most people who know me--even those who know me well--would never expect to hear such a declaration from my mouth. What do I worry about the most? In a nutshell? My kids. (But what mother doesn't worry, right?) I sometimes get a little carried away in my worries, but for the most part, I do a reasonably fair job of balancing them with the rest of my life. Well, at least I think it's reasonable, anyway. When we adopted Bella, we knew she was born with some special needs. Suffice to say, it's a whole new level of worry for yours truly. Don't get me wrong. Not all… [more]

These were LuLu’s first words Sunday morning as she bound out of bed on the long-awaited day. LuLu had set and reached a personal goal: to sing with the children’s choir on Palm Sunday. LuLu, who for years has not participated in children’s choir because the children make “unexpected noise” that overwhelms her senses and her behaviors have always alienated her from interacting with the other children, watched with great envy as the choir sang at Christmas. “I wish I could do that,” she sighed. I told her I thought she was able, if she wanted. But that she had to go to Wednesday night practices and do what the choir teacher said. So, we devised a plan that she would… [more]

I’m tickled at LuLu’s brightening and new-found independence. She’s excited about operating the microwave, learning how to heat water to prepare her lunch and answer the phone. But with each new independent step, I’m reminded that I need to watch her carefully, to make sure she understands exactly what she’s doing. For example: To avoid things like foil in the microwave, or the wrong burner being heated up. And Marie’s blog about EMDR reminded me of the one incredibly successful EMDR session we had that literally cured LuLu of her fears of vents on rooftops. When LuLu was a young child, she was very afraid of the whirling vents on the tops of roofs, used to vent attics. The only thing… [more]

There’s been a thread of happiness floating through the air around here. Despite times everyday when LuLu exhibits frustration, there are times when she’s just happier, and “brighter”. Three weeks ago we went back into the hyperbaric oxygen chamber on advice of one of her doctors to see if we could get some relief from the GI distress she has been in. The folks at the hyperbaric center we use are angels. They were able to work us into the schedule immediately, and in such a way to minimize the number of trips (1-hour, one-way) we had to make by scheduling two sessions on the days we were there. And, her virtual school is portable. So we did the things we could while in… [more]

Through our rather challenging week of traveling and funeral with LuLu, we have to say we’re most thankful for ear plugs. Yep…they saved the day on many occasions. One thing is for sure; we have a family that loves to laugh. And as more of us showed up in Mattoon, Illinois, the laughter reached louder and louder decibels. Super Dad, in an unexpected stroke of genius, remembered he had some ear plugs in his suitcase from his work. LuLu has rejected ear plugs on numerous occasions before; but after her successful trip to Chuck E. Cheese’s , she was willing to try again. And the ear plugs did the trick. She could sit through dinner, splash in the pool, and even hang out… [more]

Today LuLu is hanging out with her big sisters. I’m not exactly sure how this happened. But it’s a welcomed event. Our eldest invited Kay to breakfast at their favorite bagel shop this morning and LuLu asked if she could tag along. Usually the answer is “no”, but for whatever reason…today it was “yes”. LuLu was so excited that she was up at the crack of dawn getting ready and then being impatient for a couple of hours. The breakfast was over and the girls back quickly. My heart leapt for a moment, thinking there’d been an “incident” at the restaurant, but they reported all was well. And that our eldest daughter had invited them to her apartment for the… [more]

Christmas in a blended family (step, bio and adopt) means being flexible, with a capital “F”. Now that my stepchildren are young adults, scheduling the holiday seems even more challenging. This year, for a change, we didn’t complicate things by traveling to or hosting my family from Missouri, but we wanted to have the full Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. My stepdaughter had obligations at her boyfriend’s house, so after juggling everyone’s schedule we decided that 8:00 am was the best gift opening time for the whole crowd. While at first I was concerned that this was going to be too early, since our church’s Christmas Eve service was late at night this year, I had nothing to worry about. LuLu was… [more]

Usually I am about four weeks behind in reading the local newspapers so periodically I have marathon reading sessions. These marathon sessions involve skimming the headlines, reading the obituaries, legal publications, and I always glance at the help wanted ads. You never know when a great job might become available in the area, especially for one of my children. I happened to read the Sunday paper just two days late this week and saw a help wanted ad for a job that I thought might interest Shea. I decided to type up a resume for him just in case he was interested in applying. I opened one of the resumes that I had prepared for one of my older children thinking that it would only need… [more]

One of the other intriguing comments on my blog about our children’s privacy was from “Scraps” who said: When I was growing up we knew of a few foster/adoptive families. They were always "a little weird", and provided much fodder for judgmental conversation. As a child, I was unaware how unkind and ignorant those conversations were. Now I have no doubt that we are the "weird family" who provides plenty of gossip fodder. Yep…me too Scraps…similar childhood experiences. Again, adoption was talked about with a whisper, as if it was “bad” and “shameful”. Something must be wrong with those parents and wrong with those kids. I’ll readily admit that I couldn’t be a foster parent. I knew this from the start… [more]