Large Family

Last night I got to see something beautiful. Some friends of ours were profiled on the Milwaukee news for building their family through adoption. My friend Dalyn and her husband Alan have ten adopted children. Dalyn also has two biological children from a previous marriage. I often joke with Dalyn that they are the United Nations. Their family is the most multi-cultural family that I know. They have three African American girls who they adopted from foster care, Dalyn’s nephew, who is bi-racial, and six children adopted from other disrupted adoptions that are from Russia, Romania, India and the Ukraine. In addition, most of the family is Jewish. The focus of this story is that they are a large family who chose… [more]

Most states have limits on the number of children under the age of 18 who can live in one special needs adoptive home. For example, Massachusetts won’t allow more than six children, and in Michigan, the number is eight. That is eight children total under 18 years, regardless if they are birth, adopted, or foster care children. Of course, there are those adoptive families who are allowed a variance for exceptional reasons. One reason might be to allow a large sibling group to stay together in one home. However, for the most part the states try to adhere to limits. Why do most states limit the number of children in a special needs adoptive home? Parenting eight special needs children is not the same as parenting… [more]

My first mistake concerning the 4th of July celebration was taking seven of my children with me to the store yesterday and then telling them to go pick out the fireworks. Yes, I should know better, after 24 years of parenting. I insisted that they put one $27 box back on the shelf. As we proceeded through the checkout lane with our five-foot tall box of fireworks, with a $97 price tag, I did question my sanity. Of course, this purchase in combination with my other food and beverage purchases put the tab over $300, which then requires a manager override to ring up. The people behind me were not too pleased, but my children were. They considered this an opportunity, or practically an… [more]

In the last four weeks, we have had four calls, for different teenage girls, all different ages, different personal issues, in foster care for different reasons. Apparently, since we survived nearly two years with our last teenage foster daughter, we’ve been pegged an official teen home. We were committed to sticking with her, through thick and thin, until she graduated from high school and turned 18, and we did, by the skin of our teeth. Even though we originally took her into our home for 10 days, until DHS could find a permanent placement for her, as she put us over our licensing limit. That’s why they having licensing variances you know, they never found another home to take her. Some months the… [more]

I let my three oldest boys go off for a week of camp together. They deserved it, they work hard helping their dad on the farm, they help with household chores, and sometimes they baby sit. They definitely needed a break from the responsibility and chaos of home and have time just to be kids. Nevertheless, it was a real hardship on me to have them gone for the week. I’d forgotten how difficult it could be to take a child to an appointment with five other children in tow. I will admit it; I have gotten a little lazy, leaving the other children at home with their big brothers, while I just take one or two with me at a time. When… [more]

Did any other adoptive large families go to see the movie, “Cheaper by the Dozen,” a few years ago and think to themselves, this is just like our house, “Why did we pay money to see this?” I’m not saying it was a bad movie, we just felt as if we were back at home when we were supposed to be out on a date. If I remember correctly, my husband and I got up and left early, because our dates are few and far between. Today reminded me of that movie when we had a bonfire in the back 40 and cooked hotdogs and made smores. My nearly adult son, who just graduated, lost a hotdog in the fire when it fell off his stick. I offered my condolences and… [more]

My adult daughter and I both dedicated our babies Sunday morning. Our church has a tradition of allowing parents to dedicate their babies once a year on Mother’s Day. We aren’t baptizing infants; the parents are simply making a promise to raise their child in the Lord, before the congregation. The parents are presented with a certificate as a reminder and as a memento, to place in the child’s baby book. A few circumstances made this year’s dedication a bit unusual. My husband and I were dedicating our nine-month-old daughter, whom we adopted privately through interstate last July. We also chose to dedicate our nine-year-old daughter who has lived with us for over two years, whom we are in the process of adopting. Our adult daughter and her… [more]

I was listening to my favorite radio station this morning and heard an interesting piece of Mother’s Day trivia. Apparently, they had conducted a survey among mothers, asking what they would like most for Mother’s Day. The answer at first seemed a bit odd to me, “Quiet time alone in the bathroom.” Within a few seconds though, I was in total agreement; not because we have 11 people living in our home, although that is a factor. My husband and I have our own private bathroom connected to our bedroom, so I should be able to have private time when I am there. The youngest children always wake up hungry around 6:30AM. My routine has been to bring them downstairs, feed them breakfast, feed the… [more]