I have a rare treat coming up this weekend. I will have 24 precious hours all to myself. My husband is one of the chaperones on our church’s confirmation retreat. Our pastor has a daughter that this Hannah’s age, so Hannah will be going along to keep her company. I will be alone.

This is the perfect time for me to practice the self-care that I have written about so many times. I could spend this time doing things like cleaning the house, yard work, writing my paper for my bible study class or many other things that need to be done. However, these are precious hours that need to be devoted to me taking care of myself.

Sammy is in his third residential treatment center and sometime in the near future will be transitioning to step down program yet again. I do not have any confidence that this is actually going to work, but it is the way the system works. As we deal with uncertainty and transitions my stress level increases.

Hannah’s adoption seems to be in a permanent holding pattern. Just when we think we are done with the home study, there is one bit of information that is still missing. We are praying that this is done before the end of the year, but waiting is still stressful.

The possibilities of what to do with my time are endless. Do I spend time on my own or with friends? Do I go to the spa or shopping? Do I curl up with a book or spend time scrapbooking or knitting? Do I drive around and observe the beautiful fall colors and wind up wherever the road takes me? In some ways the decisions are overwhelming. I am used to having to work my schedule around the rest of the family. I squeeze in time for myself where I can. To have absolute freedom is nearly unheard of.

What I do and who I do it with is far less important than doing something simply for myself. There are many chores that need to be done, but that’s not the treat that I deserve. Yes, I really do deserve and so do all parents. By taking care of ourselves we are doing the best thing possible for our kids. We are not effective parents when we are stressed or exhausted.

Dealing with residential treatment centers, mental health issues, pending adoptions, and everyday life is stressful. Throw in the financial worries that most households are facing right now and listening to endless political campaign ads and you probably want to scream. Maybe I’ll go scream in the fall woods.




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