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Last night I got to see something beautiful. Some friends of ours were profiled on the Milwaukee news for building their family through adoption.
My friend Dalyn and her husband Alan have ten adopted children. Dalyn also has two biological children from a previous marriage.
I often joke with Dalyn that they are the United Nations. Their family is the most multi-cultural family that I know. They have three African American girls who they adopted from foster care, Dalyn’s nephew, who is bi-racial, and six children adopted from other disrupted adoptions that are from Russia, Romania, India and the Ukraine. In addition, most of the family is Jewish.
The focus of this story is that they are a large family who chose to become a large family through adoption. We have all seen stories of large families through multiple births, or other families who have numerous biological children, but all of Alan and Dalyn’s kids came when they were older. The youngest one, adorable Poppy Fay, joined the family when she was 18 months old, but had already had one adoption disrupt.
The short news story showed the family as they are the majority of the time. The kids were singing and dancing in the basement of the house. One of the last things the newscaster said is that T.V. is not allowed in their home, so what the kids were doing in the news story is how they normally act, and it’s true. I spend a good bit of time with this family and the kids are often singing and dancing together. That’s not to say there aren’t the normal sibling fights, but this family works well together.
Dalyn and the kids were at my daughter, Hannah’s, birthday party about a month ago. Hannah loves to go to Dalyn’s house and play with the other kids. Last weekend Dalyn’s oldest daughter went with some of our church group on a confirmation retreat. She was not part of the retreat but was the “babysitter” for Hannah and our pastor’s daughter. The members of my church who have met this family have complimented how well the kids interact together and that when they were here for Hannah’s party that they were outside playing without anyone telling them too. They automatically included the other kids in their “group.” Apparently this story ran again at lunch time today because a friend from church e-mailed me and told me that she had seen the story and was excited to see this since she had gotten to meet the family.
Alan and Dalyn talked a little bit about disruptions and what happens as well as talking lovingly about their kids. They talked about the joy they get from their kids, and they truly do. It’s fun to be with them because they enjoy spending time with their kids and being a family, but they never make us feel like outsiders. We are more like an extended part of their family. They have even included us in some of their Jewish traditions.
Two of the children in the family joined the family because of my friendship with Dalyn. The first child that they adopted from a disruption came about three years ago. I received word that this adoption was disrupting and put out the word to my friends and Dalyn instantly answered. Earlier this summer I was doing respite for a young woman and the adoption was disrupting. The search for a placement was on and after this young woman spent some time with Dalyn and her kids it was obvious that she belonged there.
We have a special bond and friendship, and I’m glad that many other people in southeast Wisconsin got to learn how wonderful they are as well.
Photo credit – Hannah and Dalyn’s kids
