I recently joined the coolest listserve about homeschooling children with special needs: Homeschool_SpecialNeedsKidz. The parents there have been kind, helpful, and compassionate as I've asked questions and explored my reluctancy about homeschooling LuLu.

This week one topic has been how to explain to others what it's like to live with Asperger's Syndrome or sensory integration problems (SPD). There have been lots of great answers, like turning up a radio very loud and then giving the class instructions in a whisper with your lips hidden so no one can lip read.

But one mom posted a letter written by her son, Michael, that took my breath away. It speaks for itself, and they have graciously agreed to let me share it with you:

Dear Adults,

My name is Michael and I am 8-years-old and I have Asperger’s Syndrome and Tourette's Syndrome.

One of the first things I would like you to know about me and other kids
like me is I have to move all the time. I really can’t sit still and when
you try and make me sit still it makes me feel upset. I get upset because,
I can’t control it. I don’t even notice that I am doing it. I may be able
to control it for a couple of minutes but can’t do it for too long. I have
learned that this is because it is a type of tic and if you try and stop a
tic it only makes it worse or comes out in a different way like yelling or
crying. I feel like I will explode when you make me stop. Also when I am
moving I can listen better. If you make me stop I am thinking so hard about
sitting still that I can’t pay attention to anything else.

Another thing I wish you would just understand about me is noises that you
may not even notice hurt me. I can hear a light getting its electricity
from the wires; I can hear a fly buzzing in the room even if lots of people
are talking. When I am in a room with lots of people talking it really
hurts my ears and my brain.

When you touch me it feels like hitting me with a hammer or thousands of
needles poking me even if you just lay your hand on my arm. I also don’t
like the texture of people’s skin, clothes, or even the chair you make me
sit in. So please don’t touch me when you think I am being bad just go and
get my mom or ask me if I would like to go find a quiet spot to sit instead.

I am very smart I usually know the answers to your questions but don’t like
to talk in front of other people. I am never sure how you want me to answer
a question. I don’t like to be picked on for being wrong so rather than
take a chance I just don’t answer.

I also don’t always understand how to play with or talk to other people.
You say strange things that mean something different than what you have
said. I get confused by your weird sayings and wish you would just make
sense. I don’t get jokes or sarcasm and idioms are very confusing.

I may seem very bossy, but if I can tell other people how I want them to
play or act then I know how to act too. If I can’t be the boss then I don’t
understand how to play. People are either looking at me and I don’t get
what they mean or they are playing a game with rules everyone else
understands and I don’t.

When I throw a temper tantrum it’s not because I am trying to be bad or
want my own way. It’s not because my mom and dad let me be bad either. When
I cry and fall on the floor it is because something has happened that I can’
t handle (it’s way too loud and it hurts, or someone touched me and it
hurt). If you make me stop moving that can hurt me too. So please don’t
think that I am a bad person I just can’t make things stop hurting and I
need to scream to make you understand. And it is called a meltdown not a
temper tantrum!

I love to be helpful and would handle some situations better if you gave me
something to help with. I also don’t like to do projects or write things it
is very tiring for me and I can’t do it right anyway. My hands ache and I
get cramps too when I write or color. So don’t get mad at me if I refuse to
do a project with the class, but could you please make one for me though so
I can show my mom?

I hope you know that I try not to be bad and I try to make people like me
but it doesn’t always work so please give me time and understand I can’t
always control what I do but if you don’t get mad and be nice I will learn.

Thank you for taking the time to hear how I feel.

Michael

Amazing letter...amazing Michael...and amazing parents! Thanks for sharing this!