Today, I left for 45 minutes to take Lane to college. Upon my return, the four year old says, “Dani was coloring while you were gone and not doing her school.” While it doesn’t seem like a huge infraction, we’ve been discussing this type of behavior for several days. It seems that she will do anything to avoid doing her schoolwork. It isn’t just because she is homeschooled this year either, her teacher told me the same thing last year when she was a public school.

She received three “Es” on her report card last year for not turning in assignments according to her teacher. She skipped four weeks of doing her bookwork recently, yet told me everyday that she was finished with it. She seems to need me standing over her to keep her focused and doing her work. Her reason for not doing the work while I was gone today was she didn’t think she would be caught.

Well, she didn’t lie; she did admit to coloring instead of doing her schoolwork. I am sure that this is a truthful answer and I do appreciate that she is telling the truth. After all, we have been talking to her every day lately about trust and honesty. Yet it is frustrating that she doesn’t seem able to self-motivate.

I have gotten to know many of her birth relatives over the past three years and none of them graduated from high school. I am afraid there is a hereditary issue involved here. She is very capable of doing the work. She is an excellent reader and is able to follow written instructions in her workbooks and on her computer work with only an occasional question.

I am afraid that her issues stem from her stubbornness. When she purses her lips and puts her hand on her hip, it reminds me of her aunt and grandmother. They have looked at me with that exact same stance and look many times.

We have tried a combination of motivators. The credit sheet allows her to earn money, candy, and soda for doing her work. She didn’t get to attend the annual Christmas party for foster and adoptive children. She was able sit at home with mom, while dad took the boys to the party. It may be a long road to 18; just eight more years to go.

Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2007