If your child is a bully, or being bullied, there is a very high likelihood that he (she) will be diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder. A study published recently in the journal Pediatrics coming out of Finland shows that nearly all the boys who either were the bullies or were the victims exhibited some type of psychiatric disorder by the age of eight.

Those doing the bullying were more likely to be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder as young men. While those victimized were more likely to suffer from anxiety disorders, but also frequently diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder.

Bullying is serious business, and many of our special needs children are at risk. Our thoughts immediately go to how our children can be victimized, but we also need to consider how our children can become the bullies.

It is research like this that should make some rethink the practice of placing siblings together, especially if the siblings exhibit an unhealthy relationship with each other. There’s a long standing belief that siblings should be placed in foster and adoptive homes together if at all possible. For many children this is a true blessing, to be able to share an adoptive family and grow up together. For others, it’s a nightmare. Kelly blogged about this very thing a couple months ago.

That victim/perpetrator relationship can often play out in the homes of unsuspecting adoptive and foster parents. And children who come from backgrounds of trauma, abuse and neglect are especially susceptible. Siblings often create a trauma bond that can either manifest itself as children taking on inappropriate caretaker roles of other siblings, or can become victim/perpetrator relationships.

As appalling as it is to think about your child being victimized in your own home, by his/her own sibling, it is important to realize the damage that is done to the “bully” every time he/she is allowed to victimize others. Children who victimize others get sicker every time it is allowed to happen.

Proactive parenting is the answer. Recognizing the signs of bullying (whether it’s in your home among siblings, or at school), and acting immediately is important. In cases where the children have formed a trauma bond relationship, true healing can often not occur until the children are separated and placed into homes where each is given attention to their own special needs. This decision is not easy, nor is it popular. Social services may have sibling placement policies that make it next to impossible to separate the children.

Bullying – American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

Here's another milder, but dysfunction, sibling situation