LuLu and I went to see Charlotte’s Web last weekend. She really wanted to see it. It hasn’t been that long ago that LuLu’s inattentiveness and impulsiveness made sitting through a full length movie impossible. Or at least uncomfortable. But lately, we’ve noticed that she doesn’t even ask “When will it be over?” like she used to about 15 minutes into the movie.

She is also grasping more of the details…understanding the plot, understanding the characters, getting the jokes. Hurrah for improved auditory processing!

Ever since she saw the previews for Charlotte’s Web, she requested to go. She’s heard the story at school, she said. And I believed her. She recited how Wilbur was a runt, how the farmer was going to kill him, how the little girl wanted to raise him and that Charlotte was the spider. Ok, I thought, she knows the story. Off we went…

There was one crucial detail about the story that LuLu didn’t know: Charlotte dies (hope I didn’t ruin that for anyone, but there it is!) Charlotte died…and for the first time ever…LuLu took in the emotion being radiated from that silver screen with full compassion and empathy. And she cried (heck, I cried too.)

But then she cried.

And cried.

And cried.

All the way out of the theatre, all the way home, and for about an hour afterwards. At first the tears gave me great joy…that my formerly closed-off, attachment-disordered child “got it”. But there was more at the core than that. I had further hope that her tears didn’t become a full-blown rage, as her crying usually ignites self-loathing at her perceived weakness. But she continued to sob, deep painful sobs. She was relating Wilbur’s loss of Charlotte to her own losses. And to that ever-present fear of losing those she loves again.

I tried to talk her out of crying, after the tears had flowed for so long. I appealed to her scientific bent, asking her in reality how long spiders actually live. Her logical brain answered me that she understood…but that it didn’t change how sad it was…resumed sobbing.

I finally gave up and just held her as she cried and eventually fell asleep. I was grateful there were no destructive rages, no self-injurious behaviors. But, oh how sad that LuLu still carries all that deep-seated pain and grief. And how stupid of Mommy not to think about the movie triggering all that.

The next day LuLu announced how much she loved the movie! She has since used her allowance to buy a toy pig, aptly named Wilbur. And she wants to catch a spider for her room…YIKES!

So, would we recommend Charlotte’s Web? I don’t know. It really is your call…depending on where your child is. It was a well-acted version and can be a great conversation starter for loving and loss. But I’d bring plenty of tissues…and lots of snuggles.