Writer's Note: Run out of cheese yet? Julie's still whining!
And then there’s the regular stuff of “life”. Spiritual growth, physical exercise, friendships, date night. Each is vital, but easily ignored when so many immediate “fires” are burning.

Each day’s list of things to do is long, varied and difficult to put in any kind of priority. I had fooled myself into believing that it would get better with time. That it would be like taking on any new job and I would eventually get into a groove, a routine. It hasn’t happened yet. I’m beginning to doubt it will.

Priorities are given to LuLu’s schooling and her health (sometimes not in that order). Things that give me satisfaction, validation, a sense of worth (like ADN, going to Sunday School, and my beloved scrapbooking) fall to the bottom of a mile-long list.

And I feel sadness and pangs of guilt when I realize that others in my life…my dear hubby, other children, my mother, friends...don’t even make the list as often as they should.

I suspect I’m not alone as moms of special needs kids go. It has been amazing to me how much busier I am now, totally immersed in my crisis-filled life, than I ever was with a full-time job, raising a busy (but healthy) family.

LuLu is making forward progress. But it isn’t always a linear progression. Because of that, and because she is my full-time project, I’m subject to feelings of disappointment (and failure). I’ve never had another job where harder work on my part didn’t equate with better outcomes. When I can look at the forest, I clearly see her growth. But since I daily stare at the bark on the trees…it is hard not to get caught up in every emotional roller coaster ride.

Ok, I have long since fallen into whining about my life. The only point of these blogs is to admit that I’m at conflict. I can’t figure it out. As Bob Seger would say "Deadlines and commitments...what to leave in, what to leave out."

I’m frustrated…and somehow I’m pretty sure I’m not the only mom out there whose frustrated.

If you’re conflicted, overwhelmed and unable to prioritize…you’re not alone!

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