Well it has been almost three years since our foster daughter was first placed in our home. Her parent’s rights were terminated over a year ago. Last Thursday we finally got to sign the subsidy agreements and officially put her new name on paper so we can adopt her. That is the good news. The bad news is that now the paperwork has to go to the state MCI for approval and that could take six months or more according to our adoption worker.

Our daughter has been displaying many negative behaviors over the past year. We switched therapist, schools, and began medication as a countermeasure. There were times when I thought about sending her packing. Let someone else deal with her passive aggressive behaviors. She refused to do her homework, brush her teeth, or wash her hair. She broke my things, lied to me, and hurt other children when she thought no one was watching.

However, she wasn’t always that way. There was a time when she was a sweet and sensitive little girl. She may believe we are lying about adopting her. After all, Ami came to our family after her and Ami’s adoption was final in February. That was a private adoption, but I don’t think that makes a difference in the mind of a child from seven to ten years old.

Perhaps she is upset about her birth relatives refusing to visit with her. We’ve issued numerous invitations, which have all been declined. I told her to ask them why they haven’t called or visited. She actually did this and received a disturbing answer. “We aren’t allowed to tell you that.” I don’t know what that means, but I know what it is implying.

We explained to her that we were singing the papers and verified how she wanted to spell her name. She has seemed much happier since then. I’m hoping that maybe the naughty behaviors will go away, now that things seem to be going her way.

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