Parenting Children with Special Needs Blog

12/03/07

Fruit Basket Upset

Posted by : Julie in Parenting Children with Special Needs Blog at 06:23 am , 554 words, 376 views  
Categories: A Day In the Life of ADHD/ADD

Here’s yesterday’s observation on how healthy children and our special needs children handle change differently.

Yesterday during the church service our new pastor did something that hasn’t been done for a very long time (since two pastors back, over 7 years ago). She had the children all come up front for a Children’s Sermon. I watched as even the middle school-aged children nearly ran and break-neck speed to the front of the sanctuary. Of course, LuLu wanted to go, and we let her.

She immediately started ramping up anxiety wise and chattering. And, of course, she’d planted herself right next to the pastor. So I moved forward to sit on the front pew and give her the “Shhhh” sign. The pastor explained that our ladies’ group had made new Chrismon ornaments for the tree in our Narthex and that each child would get to place one on the tree after the Children’s Sermon and then head to Children’s Church. The only problem for that with the older kids (of which LuLu is one) is that they are too old for Children’s Church.

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So, while all other 10, 11 & 12 year olds can understand this, I watched LuLu’s inability to process change and modulate her excitement about all that was going on, ramp her up further. I was able to retrieve her in the Narthex and return her to her seat next to me. Although for a few minutes I thought we’d have to leave the service, because she had a very hard time with this curveball that was thrown her way. She was just sure that she’d be able to go to Children’s Church.

And so it is with change and the unexpected and special kids.

As we were driving home I suddenly remembered how much I enjoyed playing a game called Fruit Basket Upset when I was in elementary school. Our 3rd grade teacher introduced it too us, and we would play on rainy days when we couldn’t go outside for recess. (Today many school children get NO recess…so I doubt they play this game much either.) It’s a Musical Chairs type game, where there is one less desk used than number of children you have. Each child gets labeled as a fruit and when the various fruits are called out, the children all get up and scramble to another desk, and the child left standing becomes “it”. When the child calls “fruit basket upset” the whole room scrambles.

The memory that came flooding back was of the excitement surrounding this game and how everyone was on the edge of their seat, wondering when the “fruit basket upset” card would be called. I remembered vividly the adrenaline rush associated with this game and how hard it was to calm down after the game was over. And I was a very healthy, non-impulsive kid. I also remembered that the teacher had to sometimes cut the game short because the chaos had escalated too much for any of us to modulate ourselves back down.

LuLu, and children like her, wouldn’t be able to handle that much excitement and fun at all. And knowing that (and how much fun the game was) made me sad once again for what she’s missing.

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Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: scrapsbynobody [Member] Email · http://scrapsbynobody.blogspot.com/
I too have noticed this issue with our children. As soon as anything new or exciting appears on the horizon, all the stress behaviors begin "ramping up", as you say. It makes getting to the thing almost intolerable. In the past with our bio kids, we loved holidays and special events. There was always a countdown going to some special thing. The preparation and anticipation was half the fun. I have had the grieve the passing of this part of our lives, and resort to a secret calendar...keeping EVERYTHING under wraps until the moment of lift off. Even then it can get dicey, but it has made for a much less upset "fruit basket" in this house.

Our children can even get themselves worked up over something so small as coming home from school and finding the Christmas stockings hanging "by the chimney with care." Or a piece of furniture moved or missing. It is amazing what can set them off into a whole array of fruity behaviors!
PermalinkPermalink 12/03/07 @ 08:16
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