Giving Back – What Motivates You?

Most of us have done it – volunteered to do something with an organization or cause that means something to you. How did it go? Was it a fulfilling experience, one after which you volunteered to do even more ? Or did it leave you feeling confused, unfulfilled, discouraged?

Truth is, doing good for the sake of doing good is a false belief. After spending the weekend listening to Bruce Anderson of Community Activators, I’ve learned that volunteering to help others has much more to do with what it does for you than what it does for the people you’re helping.

Let me explain. Bruce told us that people serve others out of two basic reasons. Either because you recognize that you have so much (expertise, resources, blessings, etc.) to share with those who are less fortunate. Or you serve because you can relate to those people you serve…you’ve been there; done that.

The first reason results in a charity mentality – where quite often the giver is doing all the giving and handing down the charity on their terms with little emotional involvement.

But those who have lived the life and walked the walk are volunteering on a peer-to-peer level, advising from their own personal experience.

Bruce’s contention (and I agree) is that those who approach volunteering as a top/down activity (the haves giving to the have nots) will quickly burn out, because they volunteers don’t feel like they are getting anything back from the experience. So, in order to keep from burning out in our volunteer efforts, the efforts must meet two basic needs in those doing the volunteering:

1. allowing relationships to grow deeper
2. providing an opportunity for personal healing

So, knowing all the parents of special needs parents I do, these ideas got me to thinking about the volunteering I’m doing. I realize that both of these motivators appeal to me, and are a part of my volunteer efforts. When I volunteer at church, it is both because my relationship with many of the church family members is deep and has the potential to grow deeper. And the acts of worship and personal growth/education also provide opportunity for me to use my faith for personal healing.

But helping other families of children with special needs meets these criteria as well. Most of the deep relationships I have in my life are parents I’ve met those who share both my passion for helping traumatized children, and a tremendous need for personal healing.

And this is the beauty of organizations like the Attachment & Trauma Network (ATN), that both support families in their time of crisis AND give the parents who decide to volunteer with our organization a chance to experience a slice of personal healing, by seeing how our own personal suffereings were not all in vain.

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