I almost could not believe my ears as I listened to the story. My own daughter sat there in disbelief as I continued to ask pointed questions about how she succeeded. Her story is similar to my own daughter’s story because they share birthparents. She is the older sister, and they lived in the same home until shortly after my daughter turned three. Like my daughter, she has struggled over the years with lying, stealing, cutting, and destroying property that was not hers. Her lying was worse than my daughter’s lying, because at 15 she began making terrible accusations about everyone close to her.

Many people were investigated over her stories and she lost many friends and mentors. It got so bad that the school would not let her walk down the hall without two adults accompanying her. She was never allowed to be alone with only one other person. Her mother could not let her go to any activities unless she and another witness could also go. Her bedroom was stripped of everything except her clothes, bedding, and bedroom furniture.

Her parents in desperation tried to disrupt the adoption. They were told that if they did, they would be charged with child abandonment. Their names would be placed on the child abuser registry. That would have caused them to give up their livelihood of adult foster care for severely impaired adults. They kept trying but things were not getting any better. Dreams of her eighteenth birthday helped keep their sanity.

After numerous calls to the school, trips to psychiatrist, therapists, and CPS investigations they managed to get her into a residential treatment facility when she was 17. Their plan was for her to move to an adult foster care facility once she was released at age 18.

Then something miraculous happened. Something nobody expected. She changed her ways. She was released on her eighteenth birthday and came home to her family. She told me herself, that she realized she did not want to live that way any longer. Her mom told me that for the past eight months life with her has been wonderful. She is helpful, friendly, and obedient. She has earned nearly all of her privileges back.

She bragged to me about having scissors in her bedroom. She glowed when she said she is allowed to talk to boys on the phone. She stood a little straighter as she told me about her job and her recent promotion. To celebrate, she and her mom are going to another state on a shopping trip, just the two of them. Something, nobody could have anticipated.

Our family provided respite care for this girl for eight years. We watched her grow and change. This story gives me hope that my own daughter can and will make this same choice.



Photo Credit: 2008 Julia Fuller.