How are YOU Doing?

(I am obviously NOT doing well — as I just wrote this blog once, complete with placed image and everything, and somehow didn’t manage to save or publish it — ARGH!!!!!!!)

The words hit me like a slap in the face. I was at a local support group meeting this weekend and after a lengthy discussion of all the many facets of my life — our due process hearing, the new hyperbaric therapy, how the ADN conference was coming together, an old friend looked me squarely in the eye and asked, “So how are YOU doing?” I quickly deflected the question because it bothered me so much. But I thought about it all the way home. How AM I doing?

Not well, actually. While I’m working really hard not to think about it, the recent crises in our family have taken their toll on me. For about the 50th time in the 8 years we’ve parented LuLu, I’m faced with a major change in my own lifestyle. Somewhere along the line you’d think I’d be used to constant change, crises, chaos and upheaval. But, no…

So, it is finally occurring to me, now that the dust has settled on this due process hearing and it looks like we won’t have any resolution on that situation until the end of June (a speedy resolution???), I need to do something for ME. But what?

I ran across this article in a recent issue of adoption week e-magazine by Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW entitled “When a Child With Special Needs and Complex Disabilities Surfaces with Behaviour Problems”. Gary points out something that really resonated with me about our growing children who have, what I call, “the combo platter” of disabilities:

“Often missed or poorly appreciated it the amount of energy a child with complex disabilities must expend to keep up mentally and physically with mainstream children. Hence these children, owing to the extra energy required will fatigue sooner than most other children. It is then that some will surface with behavioural difficulties.”

Gary advocates naps – for child AND parent. Hmmm…there’s an idea. LuLu often does nap because it takes a lot of energy to be her. But I use that time to scurry about the house doing whatever. Maybe I’ll start joining her.

Ok, so what else? Well this Friday night I’m going to “crop til I drop” at our monthly scrapbooking session with my girlfriends. And now that spring has totally sprung, I need to keep good on my promise to start walking daily. And I’m going to call and make that long-overdue doctor’s appointment. In other words, I’m going to start practicing what I preach to other moms with challenging kids — to do something just for ME!

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