As someone who is “been there; done that”, I can tell you straight up that if at all possible, avoid initiating a due process complaint against your child’s school district. By the time your special education situation has reached this juncture, there is much broken that is hard to repair. But there is much you can do earlier in your relationship with the school to lessen your chances of being involved in a due process hearing.

Here are 10 ways to avoid (or at least lessen the chances of) a due process hearing.

1. Know the law. Know as much about IDEA and the special education process as you can. Each state has a PTI (Parent Training Institute), which is an organization that receives federal funds to conduct parent training on special education rules and procedures.
2. Know what your child’s needs are before attending meetings. Make a list of objectives and goals you feel are necessary.
3. Be assertive (not aggressive or passive). Practice active listening, and act as if you are an equal partner in the IEP meeting…because you are.
4. Keep your emotions in check. If you are inclined to “lose your cool” during meetings, take others with you to the meetings to speak for you or to calm you down.
5. Stop a meeting (and reschedule if necessary) if things get too emotional. You can get emotional, but so can school personnel. When tempers flare good decisions are often not made.
6. Learn negotiation skills and enter the meetings with an idea of what you’re willing to negotiate on.
7. Actively participate at your child’s school. Volunteer in the class; get to know the teachers; be a team player. It is harder for them to say “no” in an IEP meeting when they know you and your child.
8. Join a local support group or network with other parents and advocates to both learn more and get support for the incredible task of advocating for your child.
9. Focus your energy on “problem solving”. Do not waste your time getting mad or thinking about how to get even. (You will never be able to get even and that will just make you angrier.) Stay positive and focus on the goal – which is an appropriate education for your child.
10. Try mediation first. This non-adversarial meeting is often able to negotiate an agreement that is satisfactory to all parties, avoiding a long, drawn-out due process hearing.