This advice falls into the category of “wish I knew then what I know now”. Here are some tips for the chronically sleep-deprived moms of adopted kids.

1. Don’t wait too long to get help. Sleep is crucial to your physical and mental health and that of your child’s. Talk to your child’s pediatrician or other medical professional, especially those familiar with sleep/adoption issues.
2. Don’t buy into Ferberizing. For children who may have a history of trauma, abandonment or multiple placements, sleep issues are common place and allowing (insisting upon) them “crying it out” only increases their nighttime anxiety. Many people have strong feelings about co-sleeping and lots of family and friends will offer you well-meaning advice. But if you view the situation from your child’s perspective, you can see why co-sleeping or keeping the child in close proximity at night would help with sleeping and attachment. (Yes, I know foster parents are subject to no co-sleeping rules.)
3. Do establish bedtime rituals and activities. There is safety and comfort in rituals. Our children need that. There are also some wonderful calming activities, such as infant massage, the fragrance of lavender, and soft music that can help.
4. Do tune into what your child is telling you. Angela on the Ukraine blog suggested keeping a sleep journal. This is an awesome way to discover patterns and messages your child is sending about what is triggering their sleep issues. And with your foggy sleep-deprived brain, you need things written down to make sense out of them!
5. Don’t rule out using medications. Even though a child is extremely young (toddler or even infant), if the sleep deprivation is severe enough the pediatrician may recommend trying some medication. I was terrified at the thought and even avoided giving LuLu Benedryl. In hindsight, I wish I had done the Benedryl much earlier. It still works well in most instances.
6. Address the child’s trauma sooner rather than later. If your child is experiencing extreme sleep issues and other signs of anxiety, have the child evaluated for PTSD and attachment issues and then get a trauma therapist to help you. For us, starting neurofeedback therapy was key to resolving sleep issues. Others have reported EMDR, sensory integration therapy or attachment therapy as beneficial in helping traumatized children sleep better.

Sleep Problems = Life Troubles
Stress, Trauma and Sleep in Children.