Dealing with a child that has ADHD can be very difficult. As much as it is difficult for me, I am sure it is much more difficult for my child. I can’t imagine what it must be like to not be able to sustain attention or feel as though your mind is going 100 miles per hour. Sometimes at her worst moments I have to remember that this is something that at times she cannot control. Fortunately for my daughter she does not suffer with hyperactivity rather she suffers with impulsiveness and has a rather short attention span. She tends to daydream and more often than not it is at the wrong time. She is also very forgetful and have to be reminded several times or will leave her things at school or forget to do something that you just asked her to do.
This week we are dealing with the forgetfulness. She has forgotten everything from her folders she supposed to bring home to even what she has just worn to school last week. It seems as though when she falls off track it is hard to get her back on track. I typically have to work with her the whole week just to get her back to where she was two weeks before. It seems as though at times we make big progress leaps and bounds in fact and then at another time she has all but forgotten everything that she learned. What amazes me about ADHD is that the kids typically remember what they want to do however, they cannot remember what you asked them to do but this is common with most kids. I think that is one of the most frustrating things as a parent because you want to be sensitive to the fact that they are dealing with this issue however, you must create boundaries and expectation.
At some point you must ask your child to be responsible for their own forgetfulness. You must help them come up with a plan and a strategy to combat their problems. But it must be you helping them and not telling them how to fix the problem. I have learned that only giving instruction does not work. It does not work because it is not what they want to do at the time. If they have the opportunity to come up with a plan themselves then they feel more in control and consequently will do it I have found. Now of course I am not one of those types of parents that feels as though children should be able to make every single decision on their own but they must be giving the ability to problem-solve in their life. After all isn’t that how we learned? so I have asked my child to come up with a game plan.
I have asked her how is she going to help herself remember, then I informed her that I would be more than happy to assist her with her game plan. Now I am not for sure if what she comes up with is going to work but she must learn this from experience. I have given her until Sunday evening to tell me what her plan is. I will see what she comes up with and of course I will support her. I am hoping by this she begins to take her issue into her own hands. This will be interesting for both her and I and I am looking forward to what she comes up with. Now let us hope that she does not forget!