Part of family traditions is expecting the same things to happen every year no matter what. For children newly adopted into your family the first year can be a little confusing. There are so many new faces and names to learn, let alone trying to figure out how you are related to each one. I suppose it is somewhat like being newly married. Every year we go to Grandma Fuller’s home on Christmas Eve and my husband’s brother and sister, along with their children are always there. She always has pizza for dinner and we all bring a finger food side dish.

Grandma always has six gifts for each child that she chose without any input from the children. She usually does well and the children really look forward to going. She has them all open gift number one in unison, then two, then…Well, you get the picture. Traumatized children tend to thrive on routine and so far, we haven’t had any meltdowns there. However, if you notice that a newly adopted child is getting close to melting down, then you should leave early. You may want to let your family members know in advance that you may have to make a sudden exit, so you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.

Super Dad and I have had nearly 100 children on and off over the past 14 years, some short-term, some for 18 months or more, and seven for a lifetime. I have asked my mother-in-law in the past if she would like me to bring gifts for the foster children. I felt that I should provide the gifts, especially when the child’s status is unknown. She wouldn’t hear of it, and always provides equally.

Ami was so cute tonight as Grandma’s house. She is 17 months old today so it is the first real Christmas where she is able to open gifts. She would open a gift, hug it, yell “Daaddd” and hold it up to show him. She opened a large fleece Dora blanket, held it up over her head, and yelled, “tadaaaa.”

Ali, the four year old jumped up and down in excitement after she opened each gift. After she had opened all of her gifts, she carefully placed them back in her bag, and dragged them through the house for the rest of the evening.

On Christmas morning, we will open gifts as a family and then go to my mother’s home for brunch. The children all know what to expect and they are looking forward to all of it.

Photo Credits, Julia Fuller 2007