As parents, we usually try to encourage our children to work out their differences with other children at school. We want them to learn some independence and problem solving skills. However, according to a new study, we probably should get more involved in our child’s business.

Researchers in Canada followed nearly 2,000 children from Kindergarten through the seventh grade. They found that 17 percent of the children studied said that they started having sex by the end of seventh grade. The common factor cited for early sexual involvement seemed to be peer rejection. Therefore, if our children don’t seem to have any friends, we should probably get involved.

Researchers in the study found that if children are ostracized by their classmates or negatively singled out by their teachers they would be more likely than their peers to start having sex by the age of 13. There seems to be a number of reasons why negative relationships with peers or teachers cause early sexual experimentation.

Researchers found that girls with low self-esteem might think that having sex will make them popular. Children who had been picked on during their early years were more likely to have fights, use drugs, steal, and have sex by the time they reached 13. Researchers felt that this might explain some of the negative interactions and responses from their teachers.

Researchers suggest that parents contact the school when a child expresses having difficulty with students or with a teacher and help them find a viable solution. They suggest that parents help young children develop social skills and make new friends. They say that even one good friend can protect a child from loneliness; depression, feeling rejected, or victimized.

This may be especially important to know when adopting children, who are older than newborn, from an orphanage or foster care situation. These children frequently have issues that make them the ostracized child.

SOURCE: American Journal of Public Health, November 2007.

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