Comments on: Is My Daughter Stealing to Get Caught? http://special-needs.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/is-my-daughter-stealing-to-get-caught Contains information on various special needs from the unique perspective of the adoptive parents of special children. Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:07:41 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: nancyderen http://special-needs.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/is-my-daughter-stealing-to-get-caught/comment-page-1#comment-1646 nancyderen Fri, 11 Jan 2008 00:21:15 +0000 http://parenting-sp.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/09/is-my-daughter-stealing-to-get-caught#comment-1646 Some kids steal and want to get caught because they hate themselves and want to be punished or reinforce their view of themselves as bad kids. Some kids with impulse control issues do things with the intent of being caught because the impulses make them feel so internally out of control that they want to "get in trouble" and feel reassured that an adult will take control. Some kids, especially with FAS, have extreme difficulty understanding that if you do something 100 times with the same exact result, there is a good chance it will be the same on time 101- one of the issues that probably raises my blood pressure the most! Some kids steal and want to get caught because they hate themselves and want to be punished or reinforce their view of themselves as bad kids. Some kids with impulse control issues do things with the intent of being caught because the impulses make them feel so internally out of control that they want to “get in trouble” and feel reassured that an adult will take control. Some kids, especially with FAS, have extreme difficulty understanding that if you do something 100 times with the same exact result, there is a good chance it will be the same on time 101- one of the issues that probably raises my blood pressure the most!

]]> By: my2rubies http://special-needs.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/is-my-daughter-stealing-to-get-caught/comment-page-1#comment-1645 my2rubies Thu, 10 Jan 2008 22:41:23 +0000 http://parenting-sp.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/09/is-my-daughter-stealing-to-get-caught#comment-1645 I think a key is to help her figure out what's going on in her brain at these times--helping her recognize that she's dysregulated and offering her alternatives for filling whatever need she is filling by "stealing" the food. <br /> I think a key is to help her figure out what’s going on in her brain at these times–helping her recognize that she’s dysregulated and offering her alternatives for filling whatever need she is filling by “stealing” the food.

]]> By: condo-mom http://special-needs.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/is-my-daughter-stealing-to-get-caught/comment-page-1#comment-1644 condo-mom Thu, 10 Jan 2008 18:02:26 +0000 http://parenting-sp.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/09/is-my-daughter-stealing-to-get-caught#comment-1644 Okay, in the cold light of day, I have to remember that the behavior being discussed is stealing, or taking, or helping oneself, or whatever one wishes to term it. We don't actually have too much of that behavior here -- although life can always surprise one! So I could certainly be way off in my above comment. -- Rachel<br /> Okay, in the cold light of day, I have to remember that the behavior being discussed is stealing, or taking, or helping oneself, or whatever one wishes to term it. We don’t actually have too much of that behavior here — although life can always surprise one! So I could certainly be way off in my above comment. — Rachel

]]> By: Kelly http://special-needs.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/is-my-daughter-stealing-to-get-caught/comment-page-1#comment-1643 Kelly Thu, 10 Jan 2008 14:56:47 +0000 http://parenting-sp.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/09/is-my-daughter-stealing-to-get-caught#comment-1643 When we ask Sammy the same question he says "because I didn't think you'd catch me this time."<br /> <br /> There are times when things have gone unnoticed until later, so his hope is not totally unjustified, but he also truly gets an adrenaline rush from it.<br /> <br /> I think stealing is THE most frustrating behavior I deal with. When we ask Sammy the same question he says “because I didn’t think you’d catch me this time.”

There are times when things have gone unnoticed until later, so his hope is not totally unjustified, but he also truly gets an adrenaline rush from it.

I think stealing is THE most frustrating behavior I deal with.

]]> By: condo-mom http://special-needs.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/is-my-daughter-stealing-to-get-caught/comment-page-1#comment-1642 condo-mom Thu, 10 Jan 2008 09:17:32 +0000 http://parenting-sp.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/01/09/is-my-daughter-stealing-to-get-caught#comment-1642 Julia -- You have shared that your daughter has a lot of difficulty with understanding consequences. Joy can be quite similar when it comes to grasping cause-effect and predicting outcomes. We see it in situations ranging from the mathematical -- "So do you think this answer is likely to be a positive or negative number?" -- to the everyday -- "Since you have consistently had difficulty with this reponsibility, do you think we are likely to let you try it again by yourself very soon?"<br /> <br /> So given your understanding of your daughter's present capacities in this area, do you think it is likely that she is really working that hard for the (positive?) consequence of more special (?) time and attention from you and Super Dad? Not sure about your house, but when Joy repeatedly has problems in this area I have to conclude that No, she is probably Not working this hard in order to get a big reaction out of us. Rather, she seems consistently surprised and saddened by unhappy or negative outcomes.<br /> <br /> So the good news at my house is, Joy is probably not really TRYING to make her own life more difficult. The bad news is, it's difficult without her even trying. -- Rachel<br /> Julia — You have shared that your daughter has a lot of difficulty with understanding consequences. Joy can be quite similar when it comes to grasping cause-effect and predicting outcomes. We see it in situations ranging from the mathematical — “So do you think this answer is likely to be a positive or negative number?” — to the everyday — “Since you have consistently had difficulty with this reponsibility, do you think we are likely to let you try it again by yourself very soon?”

So given your understanding of your daughter’s present capacities in this area, do you think it is likely that she is really working that hard for the (positive?) consequence of more special (?) time and attention from you and Super Dad? Not sure about your house, but when Joy repeatedly has problems in this area I have to conclude that No, she is probably Not working this hard in order to get a big reaction out of us. Rather, she seems consistently surprised and saddened by unhappy or negative outcomes.

So the good news at my house is, Joy is probably not really TRYING to make her own life more difficult. The bad news is, it’s difficult without her even trying. — Rachel

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