Baby sister was screaming. Our eight-year-old son, Ty, ran to the kitchen holding her and crying. He tearfully said that she got hurt. The 14 year old, Lyn who has FAS, was standing behind him. I looked at her and she said, “I accidentally hit her.” I snatched my baby up and looked at her. Her eye was swelled shut and there was a small cut, just under her eye, that was beginning to bleed. I grabbed an icepack from the freezer and held it to her eye while I dropped into a chair. Baby sister continued to scream for the next 30 minutes while I held the icepack over her swollen eye.

Eventually she dropped off to sleep. I sent Ty for a flashlight and pried baby sister’s eyelids open so I could check for damage to the eye. Thankfully, there didn’t appear to be any, so I began asking questions.

Lyn had accidentally hit baby sister with a three-foot long lid to one of the plastic totes we use to store toys. How could she hit the baby with a lid accidentally and with enough force to cut her and cause a black eye? Well, she was trying to hit Ty, on purpose, with the lid, that’s how. Then the four year old enters the conversation and informs me that Lyn had also hit her on the nose. That too, it seems was on purpose.

I ranted and raved at Lyn for probably close to an hour. She never apologized or asked how her baby sister was doing. The next morning she ate breakfast as usual and still did not ask how she was doing. Ty and the four year old on the other hand hugged baby sister, told her how happy they were that she was ok, and could open her eye today.

At lunchtime, I stared at Lyn. Finally, she gave me a smart, “What?” Well that made me mad so she was chewed out again for her lack of compassion. We got the usual drama of “I don’t know if I want to live here,” which made me even more upset. “This isn’t about you this time Lyn, this is about you hurting the baby. Quit trying to make me feel sorry for you because that isn’t going to happen.”

Then we got the tears with the, “I’m so sorry.” Which translates to I’m so sorry that I got in trouble for something and it has interrupted my eating schedule. Later, I explained to her again, that if the children were bothering her, she needed to tell me. I am the parent and I will deal with them. Then they would currently be the ones in trouble, not her. However, since she took matters into her own hands, she is in trouble and the baby will have a black eye for a week. I’ll also be telling everyone who asks that you did this to her.

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Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2007