I just commented on one of Marie’s blogs last week about this, “It's Not Always About Adoption!” I confessed to Marie that after 14 years of foster care and adoption I sometimes still cannot tell the difference between an adoption issue and a child issue. I made the wrong call today, a couple of times. Bring out the crow; I’ll eat it for supper. My 10-year-old daughter, adopted in November, was having quite a day. I thought her behavior was passive aggressive. Yup, I thought she was trying to get even with me for not letting her go out to play when her school work and household chore were not yet finished. Then I found out that I was completely wrong. The evidence was there staring me in the face. I couldn’t deny it.

You see, she has attention deficit disorder, ADD. Before we decided to try medication several months ago, she was getting into quite a bit of trouble at school and at home. While her adoption was just finalized in November, she has lived with us for over three years as a foster child so we have some history.

Each child on medication has one of those medicine dispensers with the names of the days of the week on it. They are in the kitchen with the breakfast dishes. I picked up her container at suppertime and there was her morning medication still in the container. I realized that she had honestly forgotten everything today and not done any of it on purpose.

I felt bad for her, but I used the opportunity to remind her that is why we sought out medication. She is a stubborn child. I know that she chose not to take her medication today, but I don’t think she will do that again soon. She had too difficult of a day.

When we returned home from the orthodontist, she waltzed outside. I asked her if her schoolwork or her chores were done. No, she was going to play. Wrong. Her household chore is cleaning the main bathroom. She left the soap dispenser, mouthwash, and several other items on the bathroom floor instead of putting them back on the counter. With toddlers in the house, that is a safety issue.

Apparently, she didn’t take the time to put things back in the cupboard correctly either. The gallon of liquid soap for refilling the dispensers lay leaking all over the floor and rug. In fact, it was empty when I found it. I gave her a teaspoon and let her scoop it back into the jug. After not letting her go out to play, I thought she had left the mess on purpose. However, because we have several children with ADD or ADHD, I was able to recognize the truth.

Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2008