I have been trying to teach my daughter who is now 14 how to write a sentence correctly for the past six years. I suggested that she read her sentences aloud to know if they made sense or not. She informed Super Dad last year that she refused to use that countermeasure because it was just plain stupid. Her refusal to use this countermeasure has increasingly irritated me as she has worked through five copies of the same third grade grammar and language books never showing improvement.

Everyday, I would look at her work and say the same things. What goes at the end of a sentence? How does every sentence begin? Did you read this aloud because you wrote “you” instead of “your” or you forgot to add “ed” or “ing” to your verbs? Did you mean, “were” because you wrote “where” or did you mean “does” because you wrote “dose”?

Each week I would make a spelling list for her based on the words she had misspelled in her sentences the week before. Almost every week her spelling list included “were” and “does.” She could spell them correctly on her test but to this day still spells them wrong in her writing. I made bookmarks for each of her subjects that said, “Did you remember periods and capital letters?”

I spent so much time trying to help her succeed that I didn’t spend enough time teaching the other children. I also became very frustrated with her because she showed no improvement despite my efforts to “make” her succeed. I realized that I wanted her to succeed more than she wanted herself to succeed.

I thought about sending her back to public school but I am afraid the lying and stealing would get out of hand, again. While attending public school she stole other students’ projects and belongings, regularly took money from my purse, and forged my signature on permission slips. Her lack of impulse control makes attending public school quite dangerous for her, especially now at the high school level.

Last week I tossed the third grade grammar and language books and I won’t be replacing them. This year most of her schoolwork is on the computer. The computer assigns the work based on the school calendar that I entered and the computer grades most of the work. I check-in to make sure she is on schedule and to grade essay questions and reports.

I showed her how to use Microsoft word and utilize the spell and grammar check features. Whether or not she chooses to use it is up to her. I have explained the importance of good grammar and spelling in writing letters. She likes to write to her birth sisters who are just a little younger than she is and were adopted by another family.

I am focusing more of my time and energy on helping Ty learn to read better, teaching Ali to read, and reading to Ami. I am trying to spend quality time with Lyn teaching her life-skills like how to cook, do laundry, and shop.


Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2006