Sandra’s wonderful picture of her father-in-law and children reminded me of this one of my father and LuLu about a week after her arrival from China – which was 9 years ago this month. As you can see, Grandpa and Lu are dancing.

My fondest memories of my dad include dancing. From the time I was little, it was obvious that my dad loved to dance. I have early memories of him cranking up the Curtis Mathis stereo, slipping on a Benny Goodman or Glenn Miller album, and whirling my mother around the living room. Apparently dancing dates were a significant part of their courtship.

When I was old enough, I’d hop on his feet and get whirled around the floor as well. When I was in junior high we had a 1950’s day, and I borrowed my dad’s letter sweater (even though he graduated in 1949). I remember getting a quick lesson in “jitterbug”, so I’d be prepared to dance. Too bad none of the other kids were as prepared!

Then there was the dancing at my wedding. My dad, always the strong lead, made me look like (and feel like) a princess as we waltzed around the room.

The last time I danced with my dad was at my 15th class reunion, the year after I married Super Dad. My father and I had graduated from the same rural high school, exactly 30 years apart. When there was a reunion, it was for all alumni, so we celebrated milestones together. My 15th reunion was his 45th. Despite his numerous heart attacks and weakened health, we jitterbugged several numbers. It was so much fun. We were definitely the envy of the dance floor.

Like Sandra’s father-in-law, my father was very busy when I was young. He owned his own business and worked incredibly long hours. Vacations were non-existent. The only time my family traveled was for medical treatments for my sister. I remember how important my father’s attention and approval were to me. I think this is the case for many daughter/father relationships. I remember ordering the same thing he did at restaurants (even if I didn’t like it) because I wanted to be like him. And how special I would feel if he took me places all by ourselves. I watch our girls react to Super Dad in the same way. LuLu is continuously declaring that she and Dad are the “black-haired group” and the “black-haired group” like science. Kay shares her love of baseball with Super Dad, and I can never forget W’s glowing face each year as she and Super Dad scurried out the door to the Father/Daughter dances at her elementary school.

Unlike Sandra’s father-in-law, my father was pretty open in his grandpa years about how much he had missed as a young overworked father and how much he wish he’d spent more time with my sisters and me when we were small. I think he held a deep admiration for Super Dad and my brother-in-law and their determination to spend more time with family.

But my dad’s actions showed it even more. He was a doting grandfather to all his 9 grandkids – bio, step or adopted. Since he was a hairdresser by profession, we have photos of most of the kids receiving their first haircut in grandpa’s garage.

My father passed away in 2001. He had his first heart attack in 1989, when I was 29…before any grandchildren were born. He had lived long enough to see all 9 of his grandchildren make it into the family and enjoy several years dancing with them – LuLu was his last. I was surprised at the sadness I felt remembering that I no longer needed to buy a Father’s Day card.

Instead….maybe we’ll put on some big band music and dance around the house. Happy Father’s Day to all those Grandpas, Papas, Pops or whatever your beloved grandbabies call you!