On the roller coaster ride of raising LuLu, we often have trouble seeing any improvements she is making. But our trip to Kansas City for the ATN conference provided an opportunity to view LuLu through the lens of others who knew her, but haven’t seen her for a while.

My family lives in the area, so we took a few days prior to the conference to visit my sister’s family and my mother. We were all together at our house last Christmas. One of the biggest changes we observed was in LuLu’s relationship with my sister’s son, who is six months older than her. At Christmas, he was nearly invisible to LuLu in many ways. There was little interaction between them and her behaviors were viewed as extremely odd and slightly scary to him. This time, though, he was ready (and he is a kind and very mature boy for his age).

But LuLu surprised me with immediately engaging him, and the two found topics of shared interest (science mostly). Super Dad took them to the zoo one day, where apparently they educated each other all day on animal facts. LuLu’s report back was that she had a VERY good time with her cousin.

“You made a memory,” I suggested.

“Yes, I did,” she beamed.

LuLu’s behaviors are abnormal, and you don’t have to spend a very long time with her before you “get it”. But those at the conference who had met her last year were quick to point out the changes…she’s more articulate, more engaging, less easily frustrated. Living daily with her, it’s hard to see that.

But I did see her attempt to engage peers in a way that was non-existent a short time ago. She truly enjoyed playing with Kelly’s daughter Hannah in the pool (even though there’s 5 years difference in their ages, their emotional ages are nearly identical), as well as Nancy’s daughter Beth (who is definitely much more mature than LuLu).

And the highlight of her pool time at the Elms was when she participated (and won 3rd place) in a handstand contest. She came into the lobby proudly sporting a t-shirt much too large for her skinny body and a grin from ear to ear. Just the fact that she was willing to participate in a contest where others would be clapping and there were be competition was a huge step up for dear LuLu. And to see her self-image bolstered by winning even this simple little thing was priceless.