One of the most exciting parts of the upcoming ADN conference for me is the chance to meet many cyberspace friends I have never laid eyes on before. The world of adoption and the special needs of internationally adopted children has brought me squarely into cyberspace. In fact, I probably know many more people by their screen names than I know people by their faces.

It was 1996 (a whole decade ago) - the summer that the Olympics were here in Atlanta, that we began pursuing international adoption. The final spark that ignited the pursuit for me (I had always been drawn to international adoption and talked about it for years), was a small photo and news clip about the formation of a local chapter of Families with Children From China. I eagerly called the phone number the next day and the man on the other end, a newly adoptive father, gave me a basic outline of the process to adopt from China and then said, "You need to do your research on the Internet." Hmmm....the Internet. Yes, we had dial-up, but I really didn't know much about the Internet.

It is hard to imagine how totally clueless I was then about so many things (even how to log on to the Internet). The information and support I got throughout the adoption process was astounding. He was right - I couldn't have done it without the Internet. But as we started to become aware of LuLu's many needs, I immediately went back to the Internet for help. It was then I found on-line support groups. Since then, I have found local support groups as well. And face-to-face over coffee is extremely nice. But the on-line groups have been especially valuable to me.

On-line support groups have interesting dynamics though. Here are people from anywhere in the world who I have never met (and am unlikely to meet most of them), sharing intimate details about the challenges of their families. The first time I met a cyberspace friend in person, I was blown away. First of all THE PERSON NEVER LOOKS LIKE WHAT YOU'VE IMAGINED! I always imagine the dark-haired people with long blonde hair, the petite ones as long and slim. And their voices never match their writing either! (Exactly how I think I can tell the person's pitch of their voice by their writing, I'll never know!) It's also shocking to know how wise a cyberfriend is and expect to see graying at the temples, only to realize that she is decades younger than you imagined.

I have given up on imagining what my cyberfriends will look like upon meeting them. But I eagerly look forward to the opportunity to meet them. The nice thing about "knowing" people across the country (or around the world) is that when you travel somewhere, you might have an opportunity to meet one of your support group cyberfriends. For example, when my mother-in-law died two years ago and the whole family had to travel to her birthplace in central Illinois (where we knew no one), I asked my cyberfriends if anyone lived nearby. I got the opportunity to meet two (one who actually lived in that same small town!)

So, one of the things I'm most excited about at the conference is the chance to meet friends I've only known (for years now) in cyberspace -- awesome therapeutic moms who have helped heal their special kids. My only concern is having enough time to really get to "hang" with them. (I am running a conference, after all!) But just having face, voice, and body language to put with the person I know will be so nice.

But, if you are my cyberfriend and you're coming to the conference...don't expect me to RECOGNIZE you. I've already told you I have a really bad sense of guessing what people look like. I will be easier to identify. I'll be the frazzled looking blonde behind the registration desk or running all over who, by that time, will not remember my own name. So, please, introduce yourself...slowly!