Dani and I went out together this afternoon on a shopping spree. We left the other children at home and had mommy and daughter time. She certainly did not earn a shopping spree; her behavior over the past year has been quite naughty. However, we have a very special occasion coming up which requires a new dress and it seemed appropriate for mommy and daughter to do the shopping together. Her adoption will be finalized on Tuesday at the National Adoption Day ceremony. We didn’t just shop for a new dress because the press will be there and the event is open to the public.

It has become sort of a tradition with all of our older child adoptions to purchase special adoption clothes. The girls have all purchased special adoption dresses and the boys had adoption suits. We also purchased individual long stem roses and let the child being adopted pass them out to everyone who was present, including the judge and the court recorder.

So many of the adoptions these days are being finalized without an actual court appearance to speed up the process. The judge still signs the paperwork and it is all official. A few days later the family receives the paperwork in the mail proving that the child has been adopted. It seems so anticlimactic to me to do it that way. For an older child who has been waiting to be adopted it must seem somewhat surreal.

A ceremony seems much more fitting where the child can hear the judge give the court order. Everyone gets dressed up and we invite relatives. It almost seems like a wedding. Our judge always hugs the children and tells them how lucky they are to have a new family. Then he poses for pictures with everyone. Our other children looked at the adoption photos numerous times, perhaps assuring themselves that it really happened.

Luckily, children don’t have to earn everything they receive. We are certainly hoping that this will be a turnaround for Dani’s behavior. Her naughtiness seemed to begin when the adoption didn’t take place as soon as her parents’ rights were terminated. With the ceremony and the adoption papers in her hand, we hope she will feel secure and her anxiety will be alleviated. She certainly is acting more loving since we were given an adoption date.


Dani's 5th grade school picture taken by JCPenney 2007