Research and Networking: Tell someone, tell everyone

Here’s a secret, when it comes to your special needs child, people want to help you.

Out there living in the new school district is someone who’s parenting a child with needs similar to your child’s. That person has already been through the hoops and knows the information you’re looking for. They have the right contacts and understand the local school system.

This person wants to help you find services and support for your child.

Why? Because at some point they were sitting in the same hot seat, wondering what to do and wishing someone would help them. That or they had help or information from the beginning and know how hard it can be to get started without that kind of support. Or it can simply be because they have a soft spot for other kids with needs similar to their own.

The problem is they don’t know who you are yet. So get your name out there. Let everyone know you’re a parent of a special needs child and looking for information and support in the new area. It doesn't matter if it’s someone in your current town or a newest co-worker.

Really, it’s a lot like the ‘Six degrees of Kevin Bacon’ thing. You’d be surprised at who knows someone who could help.

For example, my mother-in-law had a friend who was a friend of a friend who was best friends with this woman who had a daughter with Asperger’s. Did you follow that? I’m not sure I did, but it’s something like that.


Anyhow, I gave this woman a call and found out she was was the director of a local parent group. She didn't normally take on individual cases -- they had staff for that -- but since my son had Asperger's she wanted to personally help.



She was, and continues to be, incredibly helpful. She gave me the names and contact numbers of some of the people I mentioned earlier in the series that you should search for.


Before her, I had no idea I should be calling the director of special education. I certainly didn’t know what an ombudsman was or how they could help me. I would have never thought to search for an autism specialist at the district level. (Just so you know, the ombudsman is a person who works for the county and the parents. They are a support to the parents and can also behave as a mediator when there is a disagreement with the district. At least, this is my understanding of that position.)

I found out from the ombudsman the town we’re moving to does have a junior high autism inclusion program and it includes a special day class. The students are also integrated – it just depends on what they are able to do. Jay would get social skills training daily and the teacher is specific to high-functioning autistic students. Now the ombudsman is helping me get Jay's information out to the right people and hopefully we can have him enrolled in that school right away.

Another networking gold nugget came from a co-worker. She asked her friends if anyone knew about autism schools or services in the area. One of them had a daughter with Asperger’s. Through her I have found out the name of a great doctor, a learning center, a nutritionist, and a parent group all specific to autism.

So you see it’s true, parents with special needs kids want to help other parents navigate the school and support system. You just have to let them know your there.

Check the 'Special Education' category for related posts.